After so long, how to blog now...

177 posts, published 30 April 2010.

So, from that, how do I write this post? The first in seven months?

It is a toughy.

I could write about Remembrance Sunday, which like every year I cry when watching the Cenotaph highlights, as they are called- almost making them a football game that everyone has a huge lure to watch- it both disturbs me and uplifts me. It also has the ability to make my tears seems heartfelt or just overemotional. I find, however, the ability to both remember with empathy versus the almost media-frenzy need to watch it cheapens it. I could also write about the enforced social obligation to wear a poppy. As an aside, I wear it because I feel I want to, not because I feel the social pressure to do so. I wore it on Thursday and Sunday (an accidentally Monday because I had forgotten to take it off- was reminded at 9:30am to take it off, so no biggy.) As yet another aside, I like working Remembrance Sunday at work- the soldiers on guard as living proof that there is continued need for the armed forces, which thereby means death of yet more people in war. I also like it (possibly in a morbid fascinated way) that the whole castle bar a few people (namely unaware Oriental people and also loud American teenagers calling it "that Poppy Thang" and saying, "Naw can't be bothered, let's find the toilet....") ground to a halt. That is the whole place on a Sunday (albeit at a quiet time of year) ground to a halt. People bowed their heads, people thought. There was no falseness to it. Just pure thought. AND THAT IS PRECISELY WHAT IT WAS MEANT TO BE ABOUT!!!

Well, I said what I would start my blog about and wondered whether it should be about that, and thus it has begun with a mini-rant.

It was unintentional, but obviously it has stuck in my mind.

There are many things to catch you up on. Hardly as important, nor significant, but news of some sort in the life of Not So Spotless Mind.

1) I found out five days ago I passed my Masters. I got a "good pass"- essentially 63% I think it was. It is the equivalent of a 2:1 at undergrad level. It would have been a merit had RHUL not continued with the 65+ rule, which means that is a merit rather than most university with 60+!! Still I am more than chuffed. I did become very disillusioned with academia and thought I would barely achieve above 50! Still hasn't made me want to contemplate a PhD after it though, I am glad to say!!

2) Today I dyed my hair black. I was not going to do it for a variety of reasons. Mainly I was too scared. Secondly, my mam would tell me off- 23 and yes, I am still scared of my mother. Thirdly, I have never dyed my hair before and thought I ought to give it a go and I always wanted jet black hair. It turned out alright. It went bright purple for a while in which case my initial fears were first confirmed, then after washing it out it has turned out alright. I told my dad, who hadn't noticed, though had looked at me funny for a while. My brother had not noticed, though asked if I was going out. Some five hours later, asked if I had sprayed my hair black with the can of Halloween stuff I had used (and had consequently taken me approx.45minutes to comb out.) My mother still has not noticed.

3) I have mixed feelings about something I did today. Some girl has been playing around with my brother and his mates for the last year and today she rocked up at our house unannounced with her lil baby boy. Now whilst I loved children, I made her stay outside the front door in the freezing fog whilst my brother come to deal with her. I had just woken up, was groggy, grumpy and definitely pissed off generally with her. Whilst being the complete boob he always is with her, he let her, apologised for me and in return she smirked and simpered at him. He ineptly flirted and I felt awkward whilst buttering my now cold toast.... still, I felt really bad because she did have a lil'un on her hands who was so unbelievably cute and whom I had left outside, yet at the same time, I am just fed up of my brother being the doormat, however willing he is to be one. ARGH- I am ranting again. However, I wish to divulge some of my guilt on the interneting-void out there. I am sorry for her baby boy, but not for her. I should have acted differently. But as my primary school headmaster say, like you can never scrap toothpaste back into a tube, you can never take back what you do or say once they have been squeezed from the tube. I have remembered that since I was 7. Still haven't learnt anything from it.

4) Will and Kate Middleton have announced their engagement. A work colleague and I were discussing this yesterday and we said we should put money on it being announced in the next week. We should have done it because we would have been rolling in it now!! Still, CONGRATS to the pair!! I am dead chuffed plus it means uber royalist trips to various royalist camps a la Britain!! Whoop whoop!

5) My sunroof is leaking. Not amazingly tragic news I know, but honest to God it is p*ssing down like a rain forest INSIDE my car!! I couldn't see where I was going and had to pull over to try and block it up with a pair of tights I always have spare in my handbag in case of an emergency and also a small beech towel I have carried in my car since someone left it at our house after a house party. I am unsure as to why I put in my car... Still the other day, it was cold and frozen outside. I spent ages scraping ice from my car windows with anti-freeze. I got into my car which should have been heating up nicely and discovered that it was still fairly chilly. After waiting ten minutes.... still nothing. Couldn't see out of my windscreen. I lent forwards to scratch the condensation to found half a centimetre thick ice on the inside of my windscreen. Ten minutes later and all five of my windows de-iced and my car smelling a lot like de-icer and now being some twenty minutes late for work, I left (slightly high from the de-icer fumes) for work! Lesson to be Learnt: Get up earlier on frostier days to de-ice both INSIDE AND OUTSIDE of my car. I bet Kate Middleton doesn't have to deal with these sorts of dilemmas!!

This blog has been a mixture of rants and thoughts. I hope to get this blogging ball rolling and not to leave it too long again.

Having watched Julie and Julia, or is it Julia and Julie? Well, either way the film with Meryl Streep and Amy Adams in- it has galvinised me to blog, and also simultaneously give French cooking a go. I thoroughly enjoyed the film. It is about a 21st century American woman cooking all the dishes from Julia Child's first cookbook within a year and blogging about it whilst trying to find herslef, whilst simultaneously storytelling Julia Child's life in post-World War Paris (etc). It made me inwardly chortle, giggle, laugh out loud and exclaim at the inanimate TV screen! It is an almost ChickFlick in parts, drama in others, modern historical drama in sections... It is definitely worth a watch. It is on Sky Movies now!!! Be there or be Square!!

So yes, a brief and almost definitely obscured and linear view of some aspects of my life since 30th April. Surely more will come thick and fast now I have got that stubborn fountain pen to flow with bootifully clouded dusk-blue ink....

Adieu for now...

PS. Song of choices of the moment:
a) The Writer- Ellie Goulding

b) Hit the Road Jack- Ray Charles- partly inspired by Strictly Come Dancing and Scott Maslen's (from Eastenders and The Bill) Jive on Saturday, which was amazing!! Great song choice and great dancing- made me place it higher on the playlist!!!

c) Anything by Skunk Anansie- anything sung my her can be amplified by fifty- she was wickedly amazing at V Fest 2010!!! I fell in love with her then!

Quick Update

1) I met up with my Japanese pen-pal today- longer blog on this to follow! I had an amazing day and despite some lingual difficulties we cobbled together a very amusing and comfortable conversation! I had a really wicked afternoon!

2) I went to Camden and was ripped off by one fella who will be seeing me again next week, and given a discount by another lady because I was using a purse she sold to be ages ago! :) bonus! I wish I could have stayed longer there was a quartet on stilts playing instruments and singing, and generally it has been far too long since I have been there so it was nice to just have a wander around. Plus chinese pot for £3.50!? Have some!!

3) I have started my next essay reading- The role of the Virgin Mary in the Baltic Crusades of the 13th century. Can you get much further from Queen Victoria (my last essay)? I think not, but the reading is tres interesting and I shall no doubt try and keep you updated about all this jazz and interesting factoids I uncover.

4) I am really bad at texting people back. I will get on this. If you are one, my apologies. I am a shite friend.

5) It is Bank Holiday Weekend and I am looking forward to working. I am doing tours on Sunday and it is likely to be busy but they are the best tours. I have got some other factoids to throw in it as well to spice it up. My tours of late have been a bit lack-lustre. Of course, it does help that I am getting paid more this weekend :)

6) I am still poor. It is annoying but I am accepting it! I want a purple dress and since I am in debt anyway I am just going to go and buy it. It is £12 worth of joy I am willing to depart with.

7) I am getting back into cooking again, and it is all healthy!! I made Chicken a la Provincale (and that 'c' has a funny 5 underneath in). Tis French don't ya know... It was tasty and I am just nailing the juice/sauce factor at the moment. It was good, and I ahve some left for lunch tomorrow at work. Good times.

8)Hayfever- IT IS ANNOYING!! Apart from the fact that I can't afford to buy any more contacts, I can't wear them anyway because of the itchy eye syndrome!! Grrrr however I have blossom on my cherry-blossom tree. It is a sure sign of spring :)

9) After reading an Erica James book (one I have read a hundred times before) about a writing group, it has galvanised me to get back on the writing front again. Looking over some of my old stuff, it is good, but I can see where I ahve matured. Some of the descriptions surprised me, butthe turn of phrase in some parts was... to be honest cliched at best, bloody awful at worst. Still I am back on the writing front and venting all that fervour, the mental chaos in my mind. When I write, even here, I find that my thoughts seem to order themselves just by writing them down somewhere.

10) And finally, since I am poor- by the way did I mention this?- I am staying in a lot more but I am loving the fact that Jools Holland is back on TV. This is my Dad and I's favourite bonding moment of the week. We like obscure music, we relate to each other on two cultural things- films and music, though I am still trying to make him watch Blood Diamond and The Departed as two of the best films ever. He thinks I like them because Leonardo Di Caprio is in them. He is a hotty that I would happily stalk, but he is amazing in those films, a defo Daddy-friendly film.

And that is all for today, more updates as always to follow!!

The Essay Remission of Blogging

As most university students will know, the first week of the summer term at university is essay deadline week! Also known as Uber Stress Week!!

I have just altered the amount of days I work, and moved it up to four days (work was really obliging for this cheeky effrontery- it hink i mean this word???-, which is truly very sweet of them to an obnoxious studenty type like me!!) My essay was due yesterday at 3pm- not 9 nor 5 but 3- right in the middle of my working day.... thus I was at university at 8:30am to pop it under the door of the MA history dept. I sincerely hope someone has got it!! lol!!

I felt very organised this time, which is good considering I have now become just slightly more than part-time AND I found out yesterday that I got a voluntary (i.e. not paid) position at the archives at work every Friday!! :)

This is amazingly brilliant news. It has put me on a high- definitely yesterday and also today and may it long last till into the future!! :)

This is really just an apology post for such a long time in blogging and also to have a little bit of a boast. I feel I haven't had one in a while.

So work = money = :) (plus I really do enjoy working where I am- I am actually half dreading the day when I have to leave like so many of my friends.)

And archives = personal happiness.

All good times!! I shall post something of interest soon!! I am thinking of something tedious on Queen Victoria (what my recent essay was on) and also meeting my Japanese pen pal, Masayo!! I am meeting her on Friday at Trafalgar Square for a bite to eat and a cuppa tea. She doesn't speak much English and I do not speak any Japanese so sign-language and a lot of smiling will have to suffice :)

Update soon... I promise :)

I got back early evening yesterday from a weekend basically based in East Anglia. And I just realised something whilst travelling on the train, panicking that half the tube lines were shut and in my effing wisdom got on the wrong train to the wrong part of London where there were NO tube lines really running and I really HATE London buses. Apart from that I was having a minor epiphany.

My friend has got a new boyfriend and after a long time being single, she is saying it is hard work. Not that anything in life is always easy but you know... She has to think of someone else, when to meet them, etc and it is difficult. Now, I thought about me (as I always selfishly do) and wondered what I would do with a boyfriend. So long being on my own, and quite frankly 75% of the time I have been way happy to be just that, how would I adjust?

Known as "Lala" to my parents with a side portion of feminist cynic and alter ego DramaQueen, I don't think I would easily adapt at all. But on this train whilst mulling over my various fatal flaws, the inadequacies I have found in my life, and what I want from life I have come to the following thoughts. I would say conclusions, but that makes it sound so definite and certain, which out of all things, it certainly is not...

1) Yes, I want to travel and see the world. I would LOVE to see the world. I have a list of places and pictures and clippings from various papers and travel brochures. BUT. There is always a but. There are two things I need to add to this equation. One- I have not the funds to go further than Bury St. Edmund's, never mind flaming Bury in the North, and certainly not to go through Passport Control. Secondly- as much I want to see the world, there is no place I love more than home. Even though as uncool as it may seem, I live my rents. I love coming home. I would never live anywhere else I don't think. I may move to another country for a while, but always with the prospect of coming back home. I travel all over Britain visiting various friends, never really taking a foreign holiday, but then I don't need to. I don't have a stressful job, I read a lot so manage to control my stress by just leaving this plane of living for a while and live in the world of Percy Jackson, Harry Potter or Bella Swan- some kid who had an infinitely dangerous and exciting childhood. I love Britain. How confused I may have been to what is British, I know that I am. And NOT in a BNP kinda way.

2) I am never going to be wealthy. I have a good degree and can do anything with it, but I won't. I want a job that I enjoy, not that I will make lots of money from. I am square with this. I don't think I would want to be wealthy. I have a healthy respect for budgeting and surpassing it :)

3) Despite my mother's protestations that I am TOO picky and TOO serious and at the same TOO oblivious, I am quite happy holding out for "the right guy". I am enjoying my independence and I want to be a female version of Stephen Fry (albeit without homosexual tendencies), to live a bachelorette existence. I could be genuinely happy to never find anyone. That is scary, but also slightly reassuring. Anyhoo.

I love trains. They are my thinking places. Some people go for walks, me? I prefer public transport.

Anyhoo report on weekend antics sure to follow.

Also since I missed my 100th blog, this is my 175th I believe. I think I have waffled on for long enough!!

Stephen Fry flaying alive the Catholic Church: One Ex-Catholic's Views

You may have noticed that I beginning to get my flow back on the bloggingness and I have been checking out some new bloggers, and having found one and finding this YouTube clip on their site, I would still be feeling confused as to how I voice some of the intense despise I have for the faith I was so strongly brought up in.

I was brought up a strict Catholic. I went to church every Sunday- made to recite all the prayers by heart, kneel at the right parts, scorn those who were clear outsiders for not knowing when to stand-up/kneel/other... I went to a Catholic nursery, a Catholic primary school, a grammar Convent school and when I hit a Left-Wing almost socialist university, I guess it came to a head what I was really thinking.

WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?

I was uncomfortable with it long before this. It helped that my Dad's quiet Atheism counteracted the forcefulness of my Mam's faith, although I think she is not so strongly Catholic after divorcing my Dad and the reaction she got. But this counter-viewpoint always provided me with an axle with which I could step back and see two opposing viewpoints.

My Dad allowed by Mam to baptise both me and my brother a few months after we were born believing that perhaps it would instill in us some moral compass that perhaps had been lacking in his upbringing. (I have also been confirmed, and needless to say I have attended my Communion). I guess it did in some ways, and despite my sometimes intense dislike of organised religion, especially that of Catholicism, I won't regret it. I have an inbuilt system of right and wrong, almost- some may argue- to the point where I will argue the opposite of what I once believed in and to an extreme level. I am now very much a feminist, pro-life, pro-euthanasia and I often wonder what influence my education in Catholic institutions and within the Catholic faith had on me.

Taking a step back now, I can gain an open view and can understand how people can believe so devoutly. To the point on occasion that I can be jealous that I do not have the same hopes for my afterlife. (Of course, religion always crops up in death... curious, or as expected as that maybe...)

This clip of Stephen Fry on Catholicism, for the Intelligence Squared debate really got me thinking.

There is a lot inherently wrong with the Catholic faith but it hit the nail on the head for me.

I had a wild time once I reached university. Out of my homestead, away from most of my similarly educated friends and without such a strict force directing my moral compass, I "misbehaved". But Stephen really nails it on the head. The Catholic Church is NOT A FORCE OF GOOD. This is what he states. And with his usual clarity he states that the Catholic Church is obsessed with sex. Like an anorexic or the morbidly obese, this is the Catholic Church relationship with the Church in a "nutshell". Sex is "natural" and a "primary impulse" and to stop it is to deny the fundamental human nature. It is no different from saying that you deny yourself human contact, food or water. It would drive you mad or kill you.

NOTE: there is a great deal of historical literature beginning to emerge about the 'anorexic nun' and its connection to sex, self-denial, etc.

I would like to say that I never knew of any sexual abuse or anything whilst at school, but I can't deny that it doesn't go on. That aside, the money and wealth the Catholic church harbour, they do relatively little good with it. It isn't given away, they do not do earth-shatteringly religious or charitable deeds with it... They do not end world hunger... you know that they could probably begin to achieve that with their wealth...

And just as a closing point, Stephen pointed out how Thomas More, the torturer for what each Catholic now owns- a Bible in their own language- has now been made the patron saint of politicians by the current pope, I believe. What influence does history have on us? What sort of role model should More be to us? More accurately to politicians?

Just my deep philosophical thought of the day :) probably of the week :)

Highlight Of The Day

My friend said to me today (paraphrasing) that when an old colleague gets back in touch with you, and THAT is the highlight of your day, then your life needs spicing up.

Well, no old colleague got in touch with me today. Nope, but the highlight of my day today was working out the geometrical issue of getting a too-large sofa out of a too-small door that Dad built. The first problem was overcome by taking the sofa out of the patio doors and turning it around in the garden before heading back in to find with the kitchen surface/large sofa/door frame issue it just wasn't going to fit.

Humph. Me to the rescue. Lift it above surface, Dad turn the corner bit there, then Bruva turn that there, and lower that end and shove and hey presto: I am a geometric genius and I didn't know it.

However I think the case was more that I was not doing any of the lifting, was standing back and could see the issues.

Plus side? Dad thinks I may be capable now of helping to negotiate and indeed have the privilege of carrying in the new, albeit smaller cream sofas. Praise Jeebus. Any larger and I suggest we take the roof off to get them in. Truly.

The highlight of my day yesterday by the way? Are you interested?

Well, if not, tough!

After the whole "You are so closed off, emotionally unavailable, defensive" etc comments from the Mothership over the last few weeks, I managed to pick up a 60 year old bloke in Tescos and only ten minutes before have an early 30 year old guy Tesco-worker try and chat me up about tomatoes... I told him technically tomatoes shouldn't be in the Veg section but the fruit, since they are indeed a fruit. Or even the salad section. No witty comeback unfortunately. I do this to try and make convo/see if there is any connection...

NOPE. "Oh right... cool tomatoes though" was the reply. Ah well. The 60-odd-year-old man it is!! I just hope "cool tomatoes" weren't an euphemism... or is "a euphemism"? It just doens't sound right with "an"... *ponders*

The Gentleman-Of-A-Certain-Age asked me whether I was married, had a boyfriend, who was the meal for, why was I drinking red wine on a Tuesday night... I concocted a great story- it is my friend's birthday (thus the birthday card I was buying- I lost the really cool one I had bought some time ago for this occasion grrrr) and I was cooking her dinner. *I wasn't by the way- the dinner was for Mam and Bruva whilst Pops is on business meeting away and the red wine was to steady my nerves about the imminent food poisoning and also delving into my deepest flaws, which seems to have becomes a nightly fascination*

Short of inviting himself for dinner, he said he will pop into 'Kew', the ladies clothes shop that I said I worked part time in. (In fact I went to an interview before my summer job at WC came up and they said I had no fashion style. I was offended at the time, but now I am just pleased.) We have enough funny characters around the castle without inviting more... I know I lied and I am going to hell, but both our dignities have been preserved and I did genuinely have a nice chat with him. So much so I blogged about him, right?

So, in summary, that is, or rather, they are my two highlights over the last two days!

Spice up your life? Nah, thanks! I can barely handle this one!! lol!!

Make-Up Free

I HAVE BEEN MAKE-UP FREE FOR TWO WHOLE DAYS.

Now this may not seem the revelation to you, but I literally cannot go a day, especially when exiting the homestead, without a bit of make-up on. Some days it is not the full works, just a bit of concealer for that stubborn spot, a splash of coloured lip balm and a quick flick of mascara and I am done. Other days it is the full works- concealer-ville, foundation, eye make-up, eye liner, eyebrow marker, blusher, more concealer, powder, tons of mascara and uber amounts of lipstick and lip gloss. What can I say? I AM REALLY VAIN. I won't even go into hair routine, although I have come up with a 'cool' wild look that involves some wet hair and a bit of mousse and let it be free = big 1980's hair = :D. Otherwise straightening for the wild tresses takes TIIIIMMEEE!

I have always said that you've got to work with what you have been given. Now, there isn't much that I like about me, but hair, eyes and boobs. Emphasise that and hopefully I will stumble through life with an ounce of self-confidence.

Now, a lot of people, namely close friends, wonder why I bother. It is not like I do the boyfriend/dating thing. It is not like I do go out a lot. It is not to impress people. For me, make-up is like painting on a face for the outside world. A bravado I can hide behind. I think it probably stems for wearing uber amounts of make-up as a small child when I was dancing on stage- yes, we are talking lots of blue eye shadow, huge eyelashes, bright red lippy and pan stick of the deepest orange you could find!! Then we were painting on a persona. I guess it has kind of continued.

Now today I am going without the make-up comfortable in my own skin!

It helps that my skin is really clear- an additional bonus for losing a stone since this 'hypnotise yourself slim' course I did at work. I have had a bit of a naughty week filled with mini Lindt eggs that I got for Easter and I had tea and toast at 11pm last night, which is bad but to be honest I stayed up till half two, first watching a scary horror movie called The Messengers, with Kirsten Stewart in (from the Twilight movies) and the cool dude from My Big Fat Greek Wedding and Raising Helen, who was really evil in this film. Then I had to stay up an hour and a half afterwards to try and get over the repercussion of watching a scary movie so late at night!! I read a chick flick (Erica James of course) in an attempt to find my happy place again.

So apart from the bags under my eyes this morning, I feeling pretty damn good about noooooo make-up and I shall be visiting Tescos and the post office today so I shall exeunt house unlike yesterday.

So that's all for now folks, another rambling post!! Happy Tuesday!!

Something of a National Identity Crisis?!

Spurred on my receiving yet another amazing gift from my Japanese pen-pal (this time the most beautiful book ever of photographic views of Japan and all written in English- so no need to bust out the ye olde Japanese dictionary!) but it made me wonder: WHAT IS TRADITIONALLY ENGLISH?

Now, I am not going all BNP on you or anything, but I am generally not sure what I can send back. We are such a mish-mash of cultures, which I personally love by the way- I like being able to get decent Indian curry paste and Polish poppy-seed cake from my high street- but it throws into question whether my friend will think I am being obnoxious/weird/odd/other to send her what is technically another culture's object (for want of a better word).

Now tea is a traditional English thing, but to be honest I think Japan has enough tea leaves to be going on with. Plus I am fairly sure we still import all tea leaves from Asia. Maybe a teacup??... Tis puzzling me... And in addition to me worrying about what to send and what is appropriate, I am also concerned at the same time by delineating this some much, am I being racist? ignorant? other? I am unsure. However, I am fairly sure my mother would say I am looking too deep into this!!

I am sending her a Cadbury's 'Creme Egg' for Easter (yes, belatedly so) but I thought that was fairly iconic English item, right? I also sent her some cute, kitschy English-related Christmas trinket things along with the necessary "Mars" bar- made in mine home town SLOUGH! Yay! Give it up for Slough... or... not? I also home-made the box it went in with all manner of ice-skating polar bears and cute Christmas-decorating penguins and ballet-dancing angels. You know. Real kitsch stuff. I like that kinda stuff and I think we English do that well...

Anyhoo the problem still stands, what is English and packageable to Japan? Shall I send her the entire collected works of Jane Austen in Japanese? Dickens? A teapot? A teapot probably isn't all that travel safe by royal mail to be honest...

Well, what really got me thinking about this was reading the foreword of the book I was sent. It is written by the fashion designer Kenzo Takada, and really highlights how he found his own national identity whilst in Paris, so maybe I should take myself off somewhere and find what is typically British or English... that would be nice, eh? :)

So this is a part of what he says: "2005 marks the fortieth year since I left for France to try my hand in the fashion world. At the time, I doubt I really gave much thought to Japan's traditions or the country's culture. Of course, Japanese culture has, like a cut diamond, many wonderful facets... Strangely enough, it was only after I had started living in Paris that I came to realise the value of Japan's traditional culture. When I had my first show as a designer and began thinking about who I was and what I was doing, I came to the conclusion that my identity lay in my home country, Japan, and in Asia."

I don't see myself as "European" as Kenzo locates himself not only within his country's borders but within his land, although some might, but I do consider myself as British but short of sending chicken tikka masala, fish and chips or bubble-and-squeak, or even alternatively some chintzy cushion covers, I am abashed at how to reply. However, as an aside, I think as a people, the British suffer severely from Island syndrome. We are part of the continent yet physically not really.

In addition, Masayo (my friend) always sends me the most amazing cards and letterheads ever! I mean really nice. Even in Paperchase and other fine stationary-related places I have been unable to find writing stuff to parallel this!! When I have a functioning camera again I shall be taking pictures of it all for you!! Please let me know of anywhere good to get great writing paper!!

And running simultaneously to this self/national identity crisis I/we are having, I am reading about Queen Victoria and how she made the national identity by being a passive female, yet a strong ruler and combining different levels of her own identity to fit in within that of society's and at the same time influence it. With that I am also looking into the Great Exhibition of 1851- I would love to go back and see this in the flesh; I think it would have been truly amazing! The Great Exhibition was about promoting market competition, providing 'rational recreation' for the masses i.e. education, it was to show off the best of what Britain and its colonies had to offer, to promote world peace (enter Miss World) and help all nations to follow Britain's great steps to 'progress' themselves and reach the ultimate civilisation. Modest, weren't we? Lol.

The Victorians really had it nailed what they were, what they wanted and quintessentially what was British. Foreign influences were introduced as part of the everyday culture of Britain (like the Great Exhibition) but yet it was always distinctly different. Perhaps I am not as confused as I thought- despite tikka masala being invented over here and not in England, I still realise that it is really an 'Indian' dish. That 'separateness' still exists in some ways, but hopefully that irritatingly superior tone of the Great Exhibition is absent from today's discourse. In fact on a political note, I don;t think we could lead anyone to "progress" and "civilisation" now.

On an additional and ironic note, the Crimean War ended the "world peace" and international trade competition fairly rapidly after the Great Exhibition had concluded... just under 3 years I think???

However, all thoughts and ideas welcome... I am going to stop waffling. I apologise for the very extended and weird rant. I have been sitting at this computer now for 8 hours researching into "civic publicness" of Queen Victoria and perusing hundreds of The Times newspapers :)

Nighty night, looking forward to a less-confused-more-happy-bunny tomorrow!!

FLIP FLOPS

I was listening to Fearne Cotton's Radio 1 show, like I do most days, and the last couple of days she has been galvanising people to set their feet free and wear FLIP FLOPS whilst the sun is out. After all, we jokingly said last year, in the Spring, that this is our summer, and lo-and-behold our summer wasn't that great!!

So today I re-painted my toenails an electric blue and donned my most comfortable pair of flip flops- black with silver embroidery- after all it is the second time wearing them this year and you really need to break them in! It felt good. I busted them out in Asda and everything, though it was a mite chilly in the refrigerated section.

I was a late comer to the joys of flip flops, but now I have found them in my life I am enjoying them immensely. I think it harks back to the days of dancing ballet en pointe and having cracked toenails, blisters, and general ugly looking feet that I am now basking in their reflected light of joy!

So for those of you living in the British Isles and hoping to tempt the sun into staying out longer, wear your flip flops. Cast aside the sock, trainer, boot and closed-toe shoe. Let your feet breathe and feel the freedom of Spring!

Film Review: Alice In Wonderland

I went to the cinema for the first time in AGESSSSS to see in 3D Alice in Wonderland, the latest Tim Burton/Johnny Depp/Helena Bonham-Carter team up.

It was IMMENSE despite some of the negative feedback it has received. I believe on IMDB.com one person has called it "the most generic and heartless Tim Burton movie since Planet of the Apes". OUCH! I am a huge Tim Burton fan and an even bigger Johnny Depp fan. In addition as lady crushes go, Helena Bonham-Carter is a hotty (Mainly due to her work in A Room with a View, Howard's End and Bellatrix in Harry Potter to be quite frank!!) SO despite the love going on there, as quality of films go, in short, I was not expecting a helluva lot from this movie. The tide of criticism was as high as the white cliffs of Dover from some people who are even bigger fans of Burton than me... HOWEVER. I was completely blown away by it. I really loved it and I will be purchasing it on DVD when it comes out!

A stellar British cast was involved including Barbara Windsor as the doormouse (Peggy from Eastenders for those commoners who do not know her for her Carry On movies), Stephen Fry as the Cheshire Cat (I bloody love that man!), Helena Bonham-Carter- of course-playing the Red Queen, Alan Rickman as the blue Caterpillar- I could recognise that man's sexy voice a mile off, and Matt Lucas playing both Tweedledum and Tweedledee.

We also have Anne Hathaway as the White Queen with some weird hand/interpretive dance gestures going on, Johnny Depp (phwoar) as the Mad Hatter with a pretty fabulous dance at the end (FACTOID: Hatters often when mad 18th/19th century; it was the mercury they used in the hat making process that had psychotic side-effects and often altered their hair colour, so Depp's exotic hair colour is not too far from the truth.)

As character's go, they were well developed for a big blockbuster. Depp played at times a deep and sensitive Mad Hatter; Helena Bonham-Carter as a "Just Wants To Be Loved" evil character- insecure and in deep need of psychiatric help; Alice was the nuts though. Played by Mia Wasikowska, a newbie to me as an actress, Alice came to life. She was a character that you could invest in... well emotionally I guess but then I think that maybe a bit too exaggerated, but because you believe her to be a real character with charm, wit and smarts that you kinda get involved with her working out the plot of the dream/world she is in. I read a review on a fellow blogger's site and she kinda nails it. There are no good, strong heroines out there in films or in books at the moment. There is a deficit of female gumption, as Eli Wallach's character (Arthur) puts it in The Holiday to Kate Winslet (Iris). Great film by the way if you want to see a great chick flick.

This lack of female strength and being a bit flimsy is kind of inherent at the moment in life, but Alice has managed to claw back some ground previously lost. I know I do go on a lot about femaleness and feminism and just the need to prove ourselves (of which my mam says to me I push too far and alienate people- which again may be true- but I shall avoid the delving into my deepest character flaws to another time) but there is just such a lack of gumption, and I really can't find a better word for it, that we really do need to alter.

BACK TO A LIGHTER NOTE! Artistically the film was a triumph. Absolutely stunning. I never got to see Avatar but I can imagine what it would have been like. Wearing the fifth-time-hand-me-down 3D glasses and eating jelly tots and 'lips and teeth' sweets whilst swigging Pepsi I had a thoroughly great time. Of course, the company really made the day *hugs*. The film was just the icing as they say, but of course any day with Johnny Depp is, by far, a wonderful day well spent :)

From "Poundlund" to free parking (always a bonus for the newly initiated driver) what an immense day. Epic triumph in sort. Slough didn't let us down :) Yay!

PS. Also a shout out to the costume designer- amazing!! Just Alice's dresses were fabulously thought out alone!!