Lethargy

I have let many days pass now without having contributed something on my blog about many things that have struck me... I wonder if I am becoming more sedate in voicing my opinions... or just lethargic??

The anniversary of Sept 11 passed, political inaptitude of handling the economy, the ongoing US argument about NHS/Insurance policy- which I feel pretty strongly about, archive experience, finishing books, films and poems which have pricked my notice but I just can't be arsed quite frankly.

I feel very tired, and fed up, and apprehensive about looming MA start date. I am literally petrified and I am just wondering whether I am going in above my head and whether I should just get a proper job and sort myself out. Hmmmm.... nice idea but what shall I do?

Also serious money issues at the moment due to my total inability to budget and just say no to things...

I promise to write soon a happy, cheerful and marginally informative blog but for now can I just say rest in peace and bless Patrick Swayze...

I remember my mam sneaking a sit down on a Sunday afternoon when I was young... say perhaps 9 or 10... I think 9.... she secreted me out to have my ears pierced at 10 (which was definitely after the sneaking into the lounge to see/ ...) to watch 'Dirty Dancing' whilst my dad was out at the pub. It was in the middle of a roast dinner cooking and she said to me "Don't you let your Dad know I am letting you watch this!". I asked why and she just said it was probably a little grown up for me... but I remember being entranced by it. I loved the slightly unusual looking female lead, I liked the music, I loved the danced and I adored the ideal of this rogue love interest in the form of Patrick Swayze. From there I guess you can say it is a slippery slope into RomComs and Ideal Romances never deemed to last! But I never forget that day when I sat down with my lemonade with my mam and curled up to watch that film. I guess it has been since then we have shared this love of soppy movies as some would call them, but for me they hold very dear memories, which I would like to say still happen- my Mam and me have a great many movies that are just quintessentially us!

I asked my Mam recently about why she let me watch Dirty Dancing- we saw Patrick pop up on screen talking about his illness etc in a fairly recent interview and her reply was that I loved dancing and this ideal notion of romance for so long that she thought it would be something I would like to watch. Needless to say I have never looked back. From dancing with my friend who was bullied in primary school in the adventure playground on a fairly high log bridge mimicking the scene where they dance on a log bridge... to me and my mam singing all the hits... Thank you Patrick Swayze for giving me idealistic notions of love without which I guess would have been a very lonely maths and science class without!!

Rightio...

I am officially off to bed now!

Blogs to follow: -

The Time Traveler's Wife

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

Work Experience in Chapel Archives

Young Victoria film blog


night all XXXX

MUSE

SEPTEMBER 14TH

NEW ALBUM

"THE RESISTANCE"

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKK

EXCITEMENT :D

Ha! Now I just dance for me!

Strike out on the stage, and fix that ruby lipped grin
Strike out onto that stage, the limelight searing

leap with vitality

turn

shuffle

kick

spin

jump

lunge

pirouette

Stretch- to the crowd

Sweat- earn their approval

Use the cane, flip the hat

express a bow and receive a dainty clap

Exeunt stage, pleading

"be memorable"

ha!

now

i just

dance

for me :)

On a lighter note :)

I think I have almost finally decided that it may be possible that I might actually consider in attempting to do my assessment for tour guiding at work :)

I think.

I will promise to practice more tomorrow on my day off!

I am so glad that I got tomorrow off- I think a 7 day week would near have killed me!!

I am enjoying my time at the archives and I am uber lookign forward to starting my Masters, and the preliminary reading is rolling in already *yikes*

I better dust off my old ring binders and dig out my school supplies.... don't you just love buying school supplies? I do! I love the pensils, the different coloured pens- I love being able to get away using them at uni, and the erasers in various shapes and sizes, my Harry potter pencil case a must, a little ruler, a stapler, a hole punch, paper... the varieties of lined paper... sigh... it makes me think of a quote from "You've Got Mail" with Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks in *yes, it is a chick flick*:

"Don't you love New York in the fall? It makes me wanna buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address."

Hmmm bouquets of newly sharpened pencils :) It is that autumn time as well and nearly back to school time... hmmm it is just that season to be jolly... fa la la la la la la la la!

Mind you, was it just me or did the novelty of school and the new supplies wear off in about a week... whereas at uni cos I loved it so much the novelty was all year round :) I hope it will be the same this time too...

The world is full of possibilities sometimes:)

I would like...

I would like people to see me
and say that's "arresting",

the two smooth streaks of mascara on my cheeks

where that last finished novel's

words imprint on my mind

I would like people to see me

and sigh 'how adorable'

when I sleep with my mouth open wide and

a sliver of drool and an "in bed" aroma

to complete the scene

I would like people to see me

and think that's unique

how I dress, that my hair's unbrushed and

I chatter to myself and hum

in a world of my own

I would like, not people, but one

to see just that

I would like to not want that one

as much as this

The Romance of Churches, Chapels, but not so much Cathedrals...

St. George's Chapel (inside) and Monument of Princess Charlotte above... St. Bernard's school and the grand staircase above ^

I often wonder why I love churches. I am pretty sure now that it is not some inherent religious desire I visit them and admire them so. It is still a puzzlement but this snippet of a poem I found in a book- "The Romance of Saint George's Chapel, Windsor Castle"-hits the nail on the head.

In the elder days of Art,
Builders wrought with greatest care

Each minute and unseen part;

For the Gods see everywhere.

Let us do our work as well,

Both the unseen and the seen;

Make the house, where Gods may dwell,

Beautiful, entire, and clean.

Well, the book only contains the first stanza, but I looked up the rest and it just captures it perfectly. It is called "The Builders" by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. It is a rather nice poem, but these are by far the two best stanzas.

St. George's Chapel really does just take your breath away. It is just that history, the adoration and loving care given to this building, a living monument to devotion, faith and hope. What a marvellous thing, eh?

One of the few great things about my secondary school was the 'olde worlde' part of it, the part that used to be an old manor house with its own private chapel attached, the crooked steps up to the history rooms, the terrifyingly steep spiral staircases and the huge, high-ceiling, shuttered windows. The chapel was beautiful, except when it came to the 'whole year gatherings' where we would be forced to sing, both badly and embarrassingly alongside our peers, and kneel, and pray and then get back up again. I am definitely irreverent!!

Hmm... anyhow I am deviating. Apart from the horrors of singing that the walls no doubt still harbour, its the sanctuary, the love and the dedication put into this small section of the building that is breath-taking. Every time I step inside a chapel/church (not so much Cathedral- that seems to be built more with a flair to show off and be impressive but impersonal. However there are some exceptions...) I miss that sense of certainty, of omnipotence of a greater being, that these fellows who built the chapels, who commissioned them. They may not have been devout or stuck to all the rules in the bible but it was a way of life... few said that they didn't believe in anything.

Today, as the news keeps telling us, Britain is falling apart. The ironic thing is they have said this for hundreds of years... On working in the Chapel archives and Chapter Library, the number of tracts, sermons and books I have found on how the Popish threat is sure to ruin the country and how Protestantism is sure to come to a sticky end, and how if we disobey the bible we are going straight to hell. Society would fall down without these rules they thought. It makes me wonder whether they may have been right. I am a keen example of how irreverent a society the British nation is. However it is a depressing route I shall forgo this evening...

I am sure you will be glad of that.

I conclude this "half" blog "half" rant "half" pondering... well maybe that should be in thirds?! with what Blackburne of "The Romance of St George's Chapel" says:

"Let worshippers and sightseers catch the message that rings out from these stones, laid so gracefully and carried up so high; let them take this message home and try to live it out in their lives, in order that that which was once a pious dream may become a reality."

I may not be a believer but surely this is why I wrote my blog? That the comfort, safety, awe and grandeur of the building spoke to me... I guess I must have 'taken the message home' in some form or manner! Hmmm... maybe I won't go to hell after all...