So, a little update...

Nothing too exciting happening at the moment, kiddies. The same old same old Masters dilemma has an added new bonus of an unhelpful lecturer, who unsurprisingly won't give me a reference for my application. It is not that she won't actually do it, because I am evil, the devil, or other, but merely because it is who she is. She didn't reply to my dissertation queries as my dissertation supervisor, so why would she for something so important as actually obtaining a place for a Masters?

In addition, life at work is reasonably fun. A little boring at times, but I am feeling the bonding powers with my colleagues, that as ever drag us through the long day, surely to get longer as summer opening hours come into play. I feel content apart from the above matter. I am sure I will solve it, even if I do have to call upon my newly formed bonds with colleagues to provide the much needed shovels and moral support whilst I dispose of the body :) > joke by the way... just in case... well you never know...

So... in summary... TODAY I...

* was embarrassed about being caught singing and sashaying down the corridor to "Breathe Slow" by Alesha Dixon by a rather high up official (ish) at work. What can I say? Cheese works for me!

* did enjoy the sunshine. Spring is nearly here and I have bought a random collection of seeds to plant ranging from lettuce to chillis, and pretty striking red flowery things (I am no horticulturist) to sunflowers.

*enjoy the wonders of technology i.e. texting> I feel like a school girl again with my old huge brick Philips phone... those were the days. Who needs the old fashioned holding hands scenario? Happiness reigns! And also I shall include under the heading of technology and similar.... my laptop has been fixed... one new hard drive = £70 and some free advice of how to keep it ticking over... Plus I didn't lose my pictures, documents or music, so I am SOOOOO pleased! Bless working connections and God love my mother and her infinite amount of favours owed to her and thus cheapness of laptop fixing!

* am still enjoying the Stephanie Meyer vampire series, the next two of the series which arrived Wednesday to my glee though obviously I cannot read them at work :( but yay!

*I am now enjoying a cold glass of Lambrini, because yes, "girls do wanna have fun" and I am leaving my Masters application for tomorrow night, when I will sort out what I am doing. Tonight is for me and Stephanie Meyer and vampires and werewolves! Oh what an exciting life out I lead...

Where Is My Mind?

I often wonder where,
quite precisely,
where indeed,
I may have placed
that precious thing-
On trains, at work, or in a book;
Walking, just sitting, pondering too.
But often
it just exeunt without a phrase
Leaving me asking not fazed:
Where Is My Mind?

Norwich

The foggy mist, the misty fog,
coverin' the land,
cloggin' the sky
Cloaking the spired buildings high
coverin' the sound
of poundin' bells.

The transport dirtied churches see
old with new smog
new with no feelin'!
Religious fervour dead sometime,
passed by unloved
except by me.

There my friend be somewhere,
who showed to me
my little soul
To love the cleric city sky
sometimes muggy
cloggin' my eye.

Mortality

As if there isn't enough grim stuff floating around in Britain without me adding to it today with the recession and all... I guess it has gotten to me too... plus this is a really shitty time of year, if you forgive me for my use of profanities.

I had a great day out today in Cheltenham with my History gals! It was a really ace day and long overdue! Yet there have been two deaths at work in two months, and OK, they weren't my bestest pals and not the youngest spring chickens at work but Jeez, they were far too young to be shuffling off this mortal coil, I guess subconsciously that today, whilst on the train, I did begin to ponder my own end as it were. Extremely grim I know.

Read no further if you like. I understand. I wouldn't want to either.

So, I was sitting on the train at half eight tonight in Reading just before it left to take me (personally!!haha!) home. A sign came up saying the 1916 train from Gatwick was terminating here. For some reason it made me think back to 1916 and the people then waiting at train stations. Perhaps I should explain here that I think a lot while on trains and would spend a lot of time on them if I could afford the extortionate fares because I do really rather like to think about life and people watch! People are curious creatures. I have had some of best epiphany on trains and now I carry a diary around with me to note down these various ponderings I have... *saddo I hear you cry!*

Anyway, I am deviating yet again.... focus, girl!

So then the sign said that the 2048 train was due shortly... and I thought will I be around, still getting on trains in 2048? I will be three years officially from retiring then, will I have been run over and killed by then? Or will I still be working? And if so where? Will I have died from cancer? Or will I have fought it off? Will I have an early onset of Alzheimer's? Or will I have published a novel by then?

I thought there and then: Who knows? I have no clue what lies ahead. None whatsoever, so that no matter what I may plan for my future today, nature (because I am having some issues with the God ideology thing which I will get around to on a later blog) could puff me out like a candle.

So then I thought, what if medicine came up with an alternative? Would I try it just to avoid the inevitable? Would I freeze myself or something? Would I ever change my mind of how I feel right now? I do not want to grow old, but I wouldn't mind being a little bit wiser. So I thought if vampires are out there, I wouldn't mind being one of them. I do not grow old, but I could become wiser. I wouldn't do the whole eating humans thing. I am feeling rather too humane at the minute for that but I do like chicken and lamb so maybe I will just live off that like they do in Stephanie Meyer's Twilight or something, though the vamps in that tend to live off slightly larger animals....

But with the getting wiser thing I guess I would become more disenchanted with the world or not liking the changes I experience within the world if I lived forever, so I wouldn't want to live forever...

Anyway, in the end, I got home, poured myself a glass of wine and I decided it was all a bit too deep for a Friday evening and it is probably best left to my next train journey.

All Sunshine and Candy

Sorry I have been away and remiss in my blogging duties... I would say I have been busy, but the truth is I am suffering from lethargy in all things at the moment. HOWEVER, I have had a spurt of get-up-and-go today after an afternoon nap *yes, I am elderly* and I have really begun nailing my Master's applications, which I have been putting off due to indecisiveness on the topic for my dissertation! I am also enquirying about the Newcastle Studentship :) and will apply for that on the off chance I may get it. I feel quite excited. It means doing something new and exciting, and I have worked ou I can still go back to work where I am now for the holidays!! YAY! All sunshine and candy for me today...

Actually, there was no sunshine today like the weather man promised me and I was working outside, but it didn't rain! Then my copper matey gave me a piece of fudge to tide me over in the unreasonably windy conditions on the hill :D so yay... the day definitely included ALL (un)SUNSHINE AND CANDY elements!

Holidays...

When people say I really need a holiday, now I know what they mean. Ok, I worked my butt of at university, but the element that I was doing it because I wanted to do it really didn't seem to tax me. But working- well you kinda have to do it. Although I love my job, I do have to do it. I wonder if this makes the difference.

On the other side of matters but on the same topic, I want to go places. I have never been anywhere really. I have been to Spain the most I suppose, usually the same place, then France and Poland once each for school trips. I want to see the world and I want do what I want. I want to get up in the morning of a foreign country and just do what i want. I want to not have lunch if I don't want lunch without my mum worrying, I want to go round historic buildings and go into museums without my dad and brother being bored. If I want to do nothing but read my book, my friends won't be mad that I am inactive. So I have pretty much decided that this year, I will go on holiday at least once by myself to a place I have never been to before.

Now I just need to find the money, the destination, and most importantly, some courage to do it!!

I am currently looking at holidays and trying to work out the best prices

Meet Edith How-Martyn

Edith How-Martin (1875-1954)

Edith lived in a time when women's education was beginning to be taken more seriously. She had a fab education as a result, first attending the North London Cllegiate School for Girls, a school formed and run by Frances Buss, an early supporter of women's suffrage, followed by attending University College, Aberystwyth, where she obtained her degree. She became a lecturer of Mathematics at Westfield College. However, this came to an end when she married Herbert Martyn. On the same note though, she did keep her maiden name and joined with that of her husbands. A fair concession I think.

Edith How-Martyn was an early recruit to the Women's Social and Political Union (WSPU) and was arrested in 1906 for attempting to make a speech in the lobby of the House of Commons. She was one of the first members of the organisation to be sent to prison. Not long after this, How-Martyn became critical of the dictatorial way that the Pankhursts led the WSPU without consulting any of the other members of their next actions. At a meeting in October 1907, Edith How-Martyn, Teresa Billington-Grieg, Charlotte Despard and seventy other women attempted to make the WSPU a more democratic organisation. It failed.

Edith, joined by Charlotte and Teresa, left the WSPU and formed the Women's Freedom League. This new organisation still took a very militant approach, but instead concentrated on using non-violent illegal methods such as not paying taxes and abstaining from the 1911 consensus. After the passing of the Qualification of Women Act, Edith stood as an independent feminist candidate in the 1918 General Election, but was unsuccessful. Edith had more success when she stood for the Middlesex County Council and became its first female member.

During and particularly after the First World War Edith became active in the campaign for birth-control like Marie Stopes. Edith, too, was particularly concerned about working-class women who had little information how to control the size of their families. Unlike Stopes, however, Edith worked closely with Margaret Sanger, the American counterpart advocating birth-control. She met Sanger in 1915 and Margaret got on considerably better with Edith than Marie Stopes, who believed that Sanger was only a challenge to her limelight.

Both Edith and Margaret worked together to organise the World Population conference in Geneva in 1927. In 1929 they founded the Birth Control International Information Centre (BCIIC) to spread birth-control knowledge. Edith travelled extensively around Asia to promote the use of birth-control, and in particular India where she tried building up a network of birth-control providers and activists.

Unfortunately, their international work was interrupted as the Second World War spread through Europe. Plagued by lack of funds and staffing problems, the London centre was shut down in 1937. When the war spread to England, the How-Martyns fled to Australia. After the war, Edith's health problems prevented her from returning to Britain. She died in a Sydney nursing home on February 4, 1954.

Winter Woes

Now do not get me wrong- I loved the snow. Not only did it entail me having an impromptu day off due to the un-health and safety/public safe weather, I frolicked around in the snow making snow angels, and Sizable Sammy the Snowman, had two snowball fights and copious amounts of tea whilst looking out of the window at the wispy flakes meandering their way down to earth.

However, this time of year I HATE. Hate with a passion. It invokes no sense of motivation or aspiration or positive thinking of any variety, and of course inevitably, there are things that really need to be done. For example, I have missed out on one deadline for a Masters scholarship because I could not pull together in time with ample sources of secondary reading and thought of the provenance of primary sources what to my dissertation on. Yes, that is right. I need a title, research and proposed method of studying before I even start and to be honest I have a great many ideas but no clue about how to go about it. I hate winter. I really do. as a usually self-motivating and well disciplined person, this is hard for me. Lethargic comes to mind.

As always to add to the confusion, my lovely but rather dotty ex-dissertation supervisor throws a bag of spanners in the works today by showing me a possibility of £20,000 scholarship to study the history of medicine in Newcastle of all places. I have never even been to Newcastle!! However, on that note, I am very tempted. I could research all about pregnancy control methods and sexual diseases int he past. That would be my ideal. Still, what to do... it is a really promising opportunity. I may just apply for a wait-and-see-situation... but then it would mean leaving the Castle, which I love, but then again that concerns me- if I stay on too long, will I never leave? I would miss my fellow wardens, but then it shouldn't be about that!! Still another thing to consider...

So... yeah, that is how the land lies now. I am sooooo glad my Internet is back up and working after a very long and painful conversation with the Internet service provider, well on my dad's part at least with some technical assistance from me... "Er... the Ethernet cable??" "Here, Dad!", "Oh right... Internet..." "It is this button here on my laptop, Dad" "Damn Vista" "Yup..." And to make things even more confusing the gal he was talking to also had the same name as me!!

Anyways, hope you are all alright! :)