I am not yours, not lost in you,Not lost, although I long to be
Lost as a candle lit at noon,
Lost as a snowflake in the sea.
You love me, and I find you still
A spirit beautiful and bright,
Yet I am I, who long to be
Lost as a light is lost in light.
Oh plunge me deep in love -- put out
My senses, leave me deaf and blind,
Swept by the tempest of your love,
A taper in a rushing wind.
The conflict between personal strength and the need/want to be completely enveloped by love is something that I think many late Victorian/Edwardian women felt. It had something to do with how they were brought up in the Victorian period (and yes, although Sara was american, the same moral standard applied in the U.S.). With the beginning of the women's movement and the liberating experience it produced for many middle class women there was a vacancy for how to act and a way to channel one's feelings. It had been a problem for a long time, but with changes like this occurring it is hard to know how to adapt. I like this poem because of the way she is battling with herself, her emotions versus her self-control.
Sarah Trevor Teasdale (08/08/1884- 29/01/1933)
Born in St. Louis, Missouri. Teasdale was always very frail, and caught diseases easily. For most of her life, she had a nurse companion that took care of her. Teasdale grew up in a sheltered atmosphere. She was the youngest child. Because of that, she was spoiled and waited on like a princess. She never had to do normal chores, like make her bed, or do the dishes. She was known to have described herself as “a flower in a toiling world”. Because she was so sickly, she was homeschooled until she was nine. She never had communication with her peers. Teasdale grew up around adults. She was forced to amuse heself with stories and things that she made up in her own lonesome world. When Teasdale was ten, she had the first communication with her peers. Her parents sent her to Miss Ellen Dean Lockwood's school for boys and girls. When she was fourteen, she went to Mary Institute. She didn't graduate there, but switched to Hosmer Hall when she was fifteen. There, she began to put the thoughts and dreams that amused her as a girl onto paper. Thus, she wrote her first poem. Teasdale's first published poem was "Reedy's Mirror", and it was published in a local newspaper. Her first collection, "Sonnets to Duse and Other Poems", was published in 1907. In 1911, her second collection, "Sonnets to Duse and Other Poems" was published. She published many other collections including "Rivers to the Sea", "Love Songs", "Flame and Shadow", "Dark of the Moon", "Stars To-night", and finally, "Strange Victory".
In 1913 Teasdale fell in love with poet Vachel Lindsay. He wrote her daily love letters, but she ended up marrying Ernst Filsinger in 1914 when she was 30; he was a rich business man. Teasdale and Lindsay remained friends throughout their lives. In 1918 her poetry collection Love Songs won three awards. Teasdale was a product of her upbringing and was never able to experience the passion that she expressed in her poetry. She was not happy in her marriage, becoming divorced in 1929 and lived the rest of her life only for her poetry. In 1933, Teasdale caught chronic pneumonia and it weakened her not only in body but also in mind and spirit. No longer able to see the beauty in simple things, Teasdale committed suicide by overdosing on sleeping pills at age 48 in New York. Her final book of poetry was published that year. Her friend Lindsay had committed suicide two years earlier.
Born in St. Louis, Missouri. Teasdale was always very frail, and caught diseases easily. For most of her life, she had a nurse companion that took care of her. Teasdale grew up in a sheltered atmosphere. She was the youngest child. Because of that, she was spoiled and waited on like a princess. She never had to do normal chores, like make her bed, or do the dishes. She was known to have described herself as “a flower in a toiling world”. Because she was so sickly, she was homeschooled until she was nine. She never had communication with her peers. Teasdale grew up around adults. She was forced to amuse heself with stories and things that she made up in her own lonesome world. When Teasdale was ten, she had the first communication with her peers. Her parents sent her to Miss Ellen Dean Lockwood's school for boys and girls. When she was fourteen, she went to Mary Institute. She didn't graduate there, but switched to Hosmer Hall when she was fifteen. There, she began to put the thoughts and dreams that amused her as a girl onto paper. Thus, she wrote her first poem. Teasdale's first published poem was "Reedy's Mirror", and it was published in a local newspaper. Her first collection, "Sonnets to Duse and Other Poems", was published in 1907. In 1911, her second collection, "Sonnets to Duse and Other Poems" was published. She published many other collections including "Rivers to the Sea", "Love Songs", "Flame and Shadow", "Dark of the Moon", "Stars To-night", and finally, "Strange Victory".
In 1913 Teasdale fell in love with poet Vachel Lindsay. He wrote her daily love letters, but she ended up marrying Ernst Filsinger in 1914 when she was 30; he was a rich business man. Teasdale and Lindsay remained friends throughout their lives. In 1918 her poetry collection Love Songs won three awards. Teasdale was a product of her upbringing and was never able to experience the passion that she expressed in her poetry. She was not happy in her marriage, becoming divorced in 1929 and lived the rest of her life only for her poetry. In 1933, Teasdale caught chronic pneumonia and it weakened her not only in body but also in mind and spirit. No longer able to see the beauty in simple things, Teasdale committed suicide by overdosing on sleeping pills at age 48 in New York. Her final book of poetry was published that year. Her friend Lindsay had committed suicide two years earlier.
