Lethargy

I have let many days pass now without having contributed something on my blog about many things that have struck me... I wonder if I am becoming more sedate in voicing my opinions... or just lethargic??

The anniversary of Sept 11 passed, political inaptitude of handling the economy, the ongoing US argument about NHS/Insurance policy- which I feel pretty strongly about, archive experience, finishing books, films and poems which have pricked my notice but I just can't be arsed quite frankly.

I feel very tired, and fed up, and apprehensive about looming MA start date. I am literally petrified and I am just wondering whether I am going in above my head and whether I should just get a proper job and sort myself out. Hmmmm.... nice idea but what shall I do?

Also serious money issues at the moment due to my total inability to budget and just say no to things...

I promise to write soon a happy, cheerful and marginally informative blog but for now can I just say rest in peace and bless Patrick Swayze...

I remember my mam sneaking a sit down on a Sunday afternoon when I was young... say perhaps 9 or 10... I think 9.... she secreted me out to have my ears pierced at 10 (which was definitely after the sneaking into the lounge to see/ ...) to watch 'Dirty Dancing' whilst my dad was out at the pub. It was in the middle of a roast dinner cooking and she said to me "Don't you let your Dad know I am letting you watch this!". I asked why and she just said it was probably a little grown up for me... but I remember being entranced by it. I loved the slightly unusual looking female lead, I liked the music, I loved the danced and I adored the ideal of this rogue love interest in the form of Patrick Swayze. From there I guess you can say it is a slippery slope into RomComs and Ideal Romances never deemed to last! But I never forget that day when I sat down with my lemonade with my mam and curled up to watch that film. I guess it has been since then we have shared this love of soppy movies as some would call them, but for me they hold very dear memories, which I would like to say still happen- my Mam and me have a great many movies that are just quintessentially us!

I asked my Mam recently about why she let me watch Dirty Dancing- we saw Patrick pop up on screen talking about his illness etc in a fairly recent interview and her reply was that I loved dancing and this ideal notion of romance for so long that she thought it would be something I would like to watch. Needless to say I have never looked back. From dancing with my friend who was bullied in primary school in the adventure playground on a fairly high log bridge mimicking the scene where they dance on a log bridge... to me and my mam singing all the hits... Thank you Patrick Swayze for giving me idealistic notions of love without which I guess would have been a very lonely maths and science class without!!

Rightio...

I am officially off to bed now!

Blogs to follow: -

The Time Traveler's Wife

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

Work Experience in Chapel Archives

Young Victoria film blog


night all XXXX

MUSE

SEPTEMBER 14TH

NEW ALBUM

"THE RESISTANCE"

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKK

EXCITEMENT :D

Ha! Now I just dance for me!

Strike out on the stage, and fix that ruby lipped grin
Strike out onto that stage, the limelight searing

leap with vitality

turn

shuffle

kick

spin

jump

lunge

pirouette

Stretch- to the crowd

Sweat- earn their approval

Use the cane, flip the hat

express a bow and receive a dainty clap

Exeunt stage, pleading

"be memorable"

ha!

now

i just

dance

for me :)

On a lighter note :)

I think I have almost finally decided that it may be possible that I might actually consider in attempting to do my assessment for tour guiding at work :)

I think.

I will promise to practice more tomorrow on my day off!

I am so glad that I got tomorrow off- I think a 7 day week would near have killed me!!

I am enjoying my time at the archives and I am uber lookign forward to starting my Masters, and the preliminary reading is rolling in already *yikes*

I better dust off my old ring binders and dig out my school supplies.... don't you just love buying school supplies? I do! I love the pensils, the different coloured pens- I love being able to get away using them at uni, and the erasers in various shapes and sizes, my Harry potter pencil case a must, a little ruler, a stapler, a hole punch, paper... the varieties of lined paper... sigh... it makes me think of a quote from "You've Got Mail" with Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks in *yes, it is a chick flick*:

"Don't you love New York in the fall? It makes me wanna buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address."

Hmmm bouquets of newly sharpened pencils :) It is that autumn time as well and nearly back to school time... hmmm it is just that season to be jolly... fa la la la la la la la la!

Mind you, was it just me or did the novelty of school and the new supplies wear off in about a week... whereas at uni cos I loved it so much the novelty was all year round :) I hope it will be the same this time too...

The world is full of possibilities sometimes:)

I would like...

I would like people to see me
and say that's "arresting",

the two smooth streaks of mascara on my cheeks

where that last finished novel's

words imprint on my mind

I would like people to see me

and sigh 'how adorable'

when I sleep with my mouth open wide and

a sliver of drool and an "in bed" aroma

to complete the scene

I would like people to see me

and think that's unique

how I dress, that my hair's unbrushed and

I chatter to myself and hum

in a world of my own

I would like, not people, but one

to see just that

I would like to not want that one

as much as this

The Romance of Churches, Chapels, but not so much Cathedrals...

St. George's Chapel (inside) and Monument of Princess Charlotte above... St. Bernard's school and the grand staircase above ^

I often wonder why I love churches. I am pretty sure now that it is not some inherent religious desire I visit them and admire them so. It is still a puzzlement but this snippet of a poem I found in a book- "The Romance of Saint George's Chapel, Windsor Castle"-hits the nail on the head.

In the elder days of Art,
Builders wrought with greatest care

Each minute and unseen part;

For the Gods see everywhere.

Let us do our work as well,

Both the unseen and the seen;

Make the house, where Gods may dwell,

Beautiful, entire, and clean.

Well, the book only contains the first stanza, but I looked up the rest and it just captures it perfectly. It is called "The Builders" by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. It is a rather nice poem, but these are by far the two best stanzas.

St. George's Chapel really does just take your breath away. It is just that history, the adoration and loving care given to this building, a living monument to devotion, faith and hope. What a marvellous thing, eh?

One of the few great things about my secondary school was the 'olde worlde' part of it, the part that used to be an old manor house with its own private chapel attached, the crooked steps up to the history rooms, the terrifyingly steep spiral staircases and the huge, high-ceiling, shuttered windows. The chapel was beautiful, except when it came to the 'whole year gatherings' where we would be forced to sing, both badly and embarrassingly alongside our peers, and kneel, and pray and then get back up again. I am definitely irreverent!!

Hmm... anyhow I am deviating. Apart from the horrors of singing that the walls no doubt still harbour, its the sanctuary, the love and the dedication put into this small section of the building that is breath-taking. Every time I step inside a chapel/church (not so much Cathedral- that seems to be built more with a flair to show off and be impressive but impersonal. However there are some exceptions...) I miss that sense of certainty, of omnipotence of a greater being, that these fellows who built the chapels, who commissioned them. They may not have been devout or stuck to all the rules in the bible but it was a way of life... few said that they didn't believe in anything.

Today, as the news keeps telling us, Britain is falling apart. The ironic thing is they have said this for hundreds of years... On working in the Chapel archives and Chapter Library, the number of tracts, sermons and books I have found on how the Popish threat is sure to ruin the country and how Protestantism is sure to come to a sticky end, and how if we disobey the bible we are going straight to hell. Society would fall down without these rules they thought. It makes me wonder whether they may have been right. I am a keen example of how irreverent a society the British nation is. However it is a depressing route I shall forgo this evening...

I am sure you will be glad of that.

I conclude this "half" blog "half" rant "half" pondering... well maybe that should be in thirds?! with what Blackburne of "The Romance of St George's Chapel" says:

"Let worshippers and sightseers catch the message that rings out from these stones, laid so gracefully and carried up so high; let them take this message home and try to live it out in their lives, in order that that which was once a pious dream may become a reality."

I may not be a believer but surely this is why I wrote my blog? That the comfort, safety, awe and grandeur of the building spoke to me... I guess I must have 'taken the message home' in some form or manner! Hmmm... maybe I won't go to hell after all...

BIRTHDAY FUN

Meet Teana the Teapot. Isn't she beautiful?

I have always said that I am an 80 year old in a 22 year old's body! This is my first ever teapot and I am very excited about my tea lurvin'!

I also received "Woof", a mini teapot and cup all-in-one job! I used it in bed this morning whilst watching Slumdog Millionaire that I got for my birthday also.

When I got home Monday night after V Festival I could finally get to open all my cards and presents! It was really hard not actually getting anything on your birthday but I coped. Just about! I opened the Amazon box that I had and gave the books I ordered to Rob, my brother, who proceeded to give me the money and then the books back (symbolic present giving!!lol) I got The Kite Runner, The Bookseller of Kabul (there is a theme running there), The Time Traveller's Wife (which I am reading at the moment) and Windsor Castle by Olwen Hedley which I need to use to swot up for work and my assessment at work so I can tour guide (this a long story and owed to another blog! Emotional trauma isn't in it!!)

I also got in addition to Slumdog Millionaire the DVD, The Young Victoria- I watched it last night with my mam and it made me go all squee and believe in love again... gawd I love historical romances... I feel a film post coming up on this film! And I also was given Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind- from where my blog's name really comes from. My copy has gone all grrr and doesn't work anymore- I was devastated!

My mam (I know it was my mam because my dad doesn't do gal's clothes!) gave me a wicked new outfit, cardigan and a cobalt blue V-neck top (which I tend to suit (yay big(ish) boobs!).

I also got some money to spend when I go into London with my mam on 12th Sept to see the musical Oliver! in the West End (this was my present to her for her 50th!)

Now... my friends... My friends from uni who I have only known for three years got me down to a tee. (Now this isn't about whether I got presents or not...) Hatty gave me a book of poetry, a bottle of wine, the prettiest shell bracelet ever and a Piglet car smelly thing. This is SOOOO me! I spend half my blog posting away about poetry and my wine drinking prowess which she has seen in action. I have also adopted a bit of a thing for buying air smelly things for my car- the latest one is a monkey smelling like bananas. I keep buying them everytime I see them. I am sure this is a new car owning thing but Hatty obviously got my obsession there!

SJ gave me a book token (again duh! how me!) Plus I always feel guilty about buying books when I should buy petrol or more sensible items or even save *gasps*. Plus this pair of earrings soooo me and dark and gothic :) She said it was a cop out present because she had to send it and had to buy practical things, but to me it just shows she knows me.

My two best friends both forgot it was my birthday and failed to text me or contact me in any way. Now I forgot SJ's birthday but I text her and then visited her to make up for it. It was at the time when I was dealing with work experience/unpaid leave issues as well as my Master's funding application was going through. She understood. Thankfully.

One of my-best-friends-who-forgot text me four days late with just "sorry I forgot, happy birthday!" Not even what did you do or did you have a good day! The other has since text me and we are meeting up tonight but no acknowledgement... I guess we drift apart and it is a silly thing to be all grrr about but I just thought as my supposed good friends they would take a bit more of an interest in my life. :(

I will get over it though I am sure in the end! I can't hold grudges- I have a memory of a sieve/goldfish/amnesiac etc!!

Other than that I had a wicked birthday! Thanks everyone (for a great weekend, a great post-birthday curry with the rents and post-post-birthday drink and dinner with workies :P Love ya Paddy ;>)

V Festival

1) The Music
What did I see? A lot, but I missed a lot too.... There is just no way you can see evrything! It is nigh on impossible! We saw James Morrison, Keane, The Killers, Lily Allen, Taylor Swift, Razorlight, The Wombats, The Enemy, Katy Perry, The Ting Tings, Ocean Colour Scene, Paolo Nutini, Starsailor, Bjorn again and the end of Elbow I think!!

My top five acts were:
1) The Killers
2) Lily Allen
3) The Ting Tings
4) The Script/Keane (becuase I do not want to miss either one out!! lol)
5) Bjorn Again (ABBA tribute band)

The Killers were fab! They played all their best songs and my voice was soooo unbelievably horse afterwards! We were drunk, my friend Hatty and Bradders were there with my cousin and brother! We were jumping around like loony toons (sp??) and singing the lines at each other!! AMAZING!! This was one of four bands I wanted to see and they did not disappoint!

Lily Allen was frickin' awesome! I mean exactly like the album and she sung "Fuck You"- a great song on her album as well as covering "Toxic" by Britney Spears and nailed that too! It was a complete Me moment :)

The Ting Tings- a new band that I have loved from day one and I knew their album off by heart and again they played exactly like their records- fabulous stuff! Really got the crowd going in the hot heat!

The Script were a real surprise. I wasn't that fussed but boy! They were great! They were a little drunk but having a ball on stage and it was contagious! Keane were my back up choice because Oasis failed to turn up. (A sore point- don't get me started). They were GREAT! They played my favourite song of theirs (and it is in my top ten favourite songs of all time too)- Bedshaped! It was birthday and it was the ideal gift (the only one I got on that day apart from shots of alcohol :P). They finished on a cover of "Under Pressure" by Queen which really pleased my brother who is a huge Queen fan and compensated for me dragging him to see them!

Now Bjorn Again is a little bit of an odd entry. They were just a watcher while we drunk beer and got warmed up or the bands we actually came to see but they were amazing and it was where this photo was taken! We were all up and dancing to the ABBA classics and it was just a real motivator for the day! A good kick off for my birthday! Plus it coincided with a little celebratory dance I had on sneaking in a bottle of vodka, lemonade and lime in (they weren't allowing any alcohol in!)

2) The Company
I went with my brother, my two cousins and all their friends and this was just an ideal group of people who all loved music and were a great laugh. Considering my brother and I only really knew most of the group from a couple of nights out in London we got on really well... especially since we were all living together so closely!!

From using plastic bottles as loo paper (yes, you did read that correctly) to severe drunken frolics of collapsing chairs, incomprehensible banter and bad singing we had a ball.


3) The Toilets

Eeewwww. Enough said I think. But I survived it just about!! They were gross though and definitely worse than I expected! It is the summary of the condition of man back in the Victorian slums for me with these out houses as iot were and a pile of tents/slums lol!! I did enjoy the camping part though and am considering adopting it as a method of holidaying in the future!

4) The Aftermath
WE ARE GOING AGAIN! The tickets are booked, so V Festival 2010 here we come! It is going to be immense!

Another side effect of this is (on the negative side) I have been left to do all the washing and tidying up. Grrrr.... And I still haven't been paid back by my brother. I am far too nice a debt collector... I need to employ someone else to do it for me!! lol

But what a weekend, and what an unusual birthday!! Great times!!

The World of the Victorian Naturalist

On pondering Old Fogey's comments on Christina Rossetti's poem in my previous blog, it come to mind of my friend's (Slarky) art work. For her degree, where she "only got a Desmond" as she put it (2:2)- outragous if you ask me!!- she did this piece on the "Victorian Naturalist". It is amazing, and I am duly posting it here.

This is what she says about it:

"THE WORLD OF THE VICTORIAN NATURALIST.

Using the 150th anniversary of the publication of Darwin’s The Origin of Species as a starting point, I wanted to visually explore the idea of the Victorian Naturalist and the paraphernalia associated with it, to show to what extent Victorian naturalists were harming the environments and species which they sought to learn about with their obsessive collecting for both acedemic and decorative purposes."

Old Fogey says that the poem instructs us what to do, but that Christina may not have followed it herself, which is entirely possible. However, I said that her sentiment in the poem is completely at odds with her time. The Victorians, as Slarky says, were harming the environments around them for knowledge and decoration. Even if Rossetti didn't always avoid squatting the odd fly or squashing the odd spider, she voiced an opinion little held and even less liked.

Check out her website here: http://www.charlotteslark.co.uk/index.html