Make-Up Free

I HAVE BEEN MAKE-UP FREE FOR TWO WHOLE DAYS.

Now this may not seem the revelation to you, but I literally cannot go a day, especially when exiting the homestead, without a bit of make-up on. Some days it is not the full works, just a bit of concealer for that stubborn spot, a splash of coloured lip balm and a quick flick of mascara and I am done. Other days it is the full works- concealer-ville, foundation, eye make-up, eye liner, eyebrow marker, blusher, more concealer, powder, tons of mascara and uber amounts of lipstick and lip gloss. What can I say? I AM REALLY VAIN. I won't even go into hair routine, although I have come up with a 'cool' wild look that involves some wet hair and a bit of mousse and let it be free = big 1980's hair = :D. Otherwise straightening for the wild tresses takes TIIIIMMEEE!

I have always said that you've got to work with what you have been given. Now, there isn't much that I like about me, but hair, eyes and boobs. Emphasise that and hopefully I will stumble through life with an ounce of self-confidence.

Now, a lot of people, namely close friends, wonder why I bother. It is not like I do the boyfriend/dating thing. It is not like I do go out a lot. It is not to impress people. For me, make-up is like painting on a face for the outside world. A bravado I can hide behind. I think it probably stems for wearing uber amounts of make-up as a small child when I was dancing on stage- yes, we are talking lots of blue eye shadow, huge eyelashes, bright red lippy and pan stick of the deepest orange you could find!! Then we were painting on a persona. I guess it has kind of continued.

Now today I am going without the make-up comfortable in my own skin!

It helps that my skin is really clear- an additional bonus for losing a stone since this 'hypnotise yourself slim' course I did at work. I have had a bit of a naughty week filled with mini Lindt eggs that I got for Easter and I had tea and toast at 11pm last night, which is bad but to be honest I stayed up till half two, first watching a scary horror movie called The Messengers, with Kirsten Stewart in (from the Twilight movies) and the cool dude from My Big Fat Greek Wedding and Raising Helen, who was really evil in this film. Then I had to stay up an hour and a half afterwards to try and get over the repercussion of watching a scary movie so late at night!! I read a chick flick (Erica James of course) in an attempt to find my happy place again.

So apart from the bags under my eyes this morning, I feeling pretty damn good about noooooo make-up and I shall be visiting Tescos and the post office today so I shall exeunt house unlike yesterday.

So that's all for now folks, another rambling post!! Happy Tuesday!!

SCHOOL "CHUMS"

Argh.... I had that moment yesterday that we all dread- when we meet someone unexpectedly who we went to school with. We so desperately want to be impressive and cool and important.

Yeah, guess what?

It didn't happen!

I was wearing a daft hat at work, standing outside in the muggy heat welcoming pervy old men into *enter tourist industry* with midges and greenflies from an infected nearby tree roaming around my head and having a particular affinity with my face!! Then she rocks up, thin, pretty (as she always was) and with a cute American boyfriend.

Damn.

At least she talked to me right? And seemed well pleased to talk to me- I hope it was not out of smugness for my situation! She is a dancer (professionally.) She left school and never looked back. She works hard. She now dances all over the world. In America for example. She was on holiday in the UK and bringing her boyfriend home and showing him the area. Damn. I can't really beat that. "What have you been up to?" "I work here, graduated last summer...." I tail off and ask more questions about her.

I just lack the cool-factor.

At least she was really nice. I am really grateful for that. And the memory of me beating her in a tap dancing competition once when I was little is particularly comforting... It is a consolation prize of "I could have done that if I had wanted to!" I did used to want to be a dancer... I just lack the natural aggression and bitchiness inherent in the industry to do it and be successful. I am far to easily manipulated by other people's thoughts of me.

It harks back to a convo I had with my dancing girls- when we had a bit of a get together at Easter. Jo and Polly had really tried to get into the industry. They are pretty self-assured characters. They know who they are and what they want in life. I am not. Neither was my other friend Charis. She was suffering from the same issues I had at uni. Polly and Jo gave up on the dancing game. Too competitive. Dancing wasn't fun anymore. If they couldn't do it, I would have been breakfast for the competition. I would have been eaten alive.

At the end of the day I am just pround of my historyness, my lumpy mid-section (instead of hardcore steely abs) and idiosyncracies!

Just at moments like that one yesterday... I just wished I had a shred of coolness.