What is it about girls that makes them so catty? (by the way- I love 1950s posters/jokes like this... I have a whole set of coasters ripping men to shreds... It is the insane smile that gets me!!)
I am a girl and I know I do it, but thankfully a lot of tomboy tendencies slash unashamedly 'My Mam' qualities, i.e. speaking your mind come forth more often than the catty side of bitching, talking about people behind their backs, falseness, making snide remarks or remarks so thinly veiled sometimes you wish they would just speak their mind and get it off their chest rather than harbour resentment.
Of course, then there is the argument that if you cannot say anything nice, do not say anything at all. This is my approach at the moment. When it is inappropriate to say what you think, say nothing. Full blown argument or walk away and draw a line underneath it. That's the two options. Fair and easy.
I went on an 'All Girls' holiday last year and the bitching was catastrophic. It ruined friendships never to be resolved and the harbouring resentment between fractions is still very prominent. I was in the middle, and really, I am quite naive and had no idea what it was all about. I still don't if I was honest. I just wanted a good time. I wanted a holiday, fun, and general letting down of hair after one heavy year of essays, deadlines and exams.
Unfortunately, I do not talk to one of the girls anymore, which is a real shame and I am sorry that we did not stay in touch. Another we keep in good Facebook contact. It remains that the two divided sides remain. I have been sitting on the fence. Sitting in the middle hurts. For one, you do get an unbelievable wedgie.
On the one side, the 'catty situation' was always avoided, but present in every conversation, meeting and night out. An overhanging cloud that invaded and almost ruined my 21st birthday. The other side- well, they have let it go. It has been discussed, marvelled over and resulted in a "Well, what can we do about it? Well, nothing really, so let's move on" conclusion.
I do love my girls a lot.
But I want friends who get along with everyone. I want friends who are honest and who I know I can trust. I want friends who will tell me I look like shit when I have bags under my eyes, will not be jealous when something goes right for me, someone who, if I say, I really need to do this they will support me one hundred and ten percent. AND I am so lucky to have two great girls, or perhaps ladies I should say, for that. It is not a chore to stay in touch and we have a wicked time.
I love my other friend to bits and we have had amazing times over the years. Maybe there will be again. We have been through a few rough patches and come out of it on the other side. We will again no doubt, probably when we have all matured some more and let the past go. There is nothing more that we can can do to change it. As a historian I know. Studying the past is one thing, but there comes a time when we have to let it go or it will swallow you up, especially if it is tangled up with any of the following: resentment, anger, vengeance, grief, love and pain.
So I end this with a hope for renewed friendships and the lasting of others.
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