I got back early evening yesterday from a weekend basically based in East Anglia. And I just realised something whilst travelling on the train, panicking that half the tube lines were shut and in my effing wisdom got on the wrong train to the wrong part of London where there were NO tube lines really running and I really HATE London buses. Apart from that I was having a minor epiphany.

My friend has got a new boyfriend and after a long time being single, she is saying it is hard work. Not that anything in life is always easy but you know... She has to think of someone else, when to meet them, etc and it is difficult. Now, I thought about me (as I always selfishly do) and wondered what I would do with a boyfriend. So long being on my own, and quite frankly 75% of the time I have been way happy to be just that, how would I adjust?

Known as "Lala" to my parents with a side portion of feminist cynic and alter ego DramaQueen, I don't think I would easily adapt at all. But on this train whilst mulling over my various fatal flaws, the inadequacies I have found in my life, and what I want from life I have come to the following thoughts. I would say conclusions, but that makes it sound so definite and certain, which out of all things, it certainly is not...

1) Yes, I want to travel and see the world. I would LOVE to see the world. I have a list of places and pictures and clippings from various papers and travel brochures. BUT. There is always a but. There are two things I need to add to this equation. One- I have not the funds to go further than Bury St. Edmund's, never mind flaming Bury in the North, and certainly not to go through Passport Control. Secondly- as much I want to see the world, there is no place I love more than home. Even though as uncool as it may seem, I live my rents. I love coming home. I would never live anywhere else I don't think. I may move to another country for a while, but always with the prospect of coming back home. I travel all over Britain visiting various friends, never really taking a foreign holiday, but then I don't need to. I don't have a stressful job, I read a lot so manage to control my stress by just leaving this plane of living for a while and live in the world of Percy Jackson, Harry Potter or Bella Swan- some kid who had an infinitely dangerous and exciting childhood. I love Britain. How confused I may have been to what is British, I know that I am. And NOT in a BNP kinda way.

2) I am never going to be wealthy. I have a good degree and can do anything with it, but I won't. I want a job that I enjoy, not that I will make lots of money from. I am square with this. I don't think I would want to be wealthy. I have a healthy respect for budgeting and surpassing it :)

3) Despite my mother's protestations that I am TOO picky and TOO serious and at the same TOO oblivious, I am quite happy holding out for "the right guy". I am enjoying my independence and I want to be a female version of Stephen Fry (albeit without homosexual tendencies), to live a bachelorette existence. I could be genuinely happy to never find anyone. That is scary, but also slightly reassuring. Anyhoo.

I love trains. They are my thinking places. Some people go for walks, me? I prefer public transport.

Anyhoo report on weekend antics sure to follow.

Also since I missed my 100th blog, this is my 175th I believe. I think I have waffled on for long enough!!