After so long, how to blog now...

177 posts, published 30 April 2010.

So, from that, how do I write this post? The first in seven months?

It is a toughy.

I could write about Remembrance Sunday, which like every year I cry when watching the Cenotaph highlights, as they are called- almost making them a football game that everyone has a huge lure to watch- it both disturbs me and uplifts me. It also has the ability to make my tears seems heartfelt or just overemotional. I find, however, the ability to both remember with empathy versus the almost media-frenzy need to watch it cheapens it. I could also write about the enforced social obligation to wear a poppy. As an aside, I wear it because I feel I want to, not because I feel the social pressure to do so. I wore it on Thursday and Sunday (an accidentally Monday because I had forgotten to take it off- was reminded at 9:30am to take it off, so no biggy.) As yet another aside, I like working Remembrance Sunday at work- the soldiers on guard as living proof that there is continued need for the armed forces, which thereby means death of yet more people in war. I also like it (possibly in a morbid fascinated way) that the whole castle bar a few people (namely unaware Oriental people and also loud American teenagers calling it "that Poppy Thang" and saying, "Naw can't be bothered, let's find the toilet....") ground to a halt. That is the whole place on a Sunday (albeit at a quiet time of year) ground to a halt. People bowed their heads, people thought. There was no falseness to it. Just pure thought. AND THAT IS PRECISELY WHAT IT WAS MEANT TO BE ABOUT!!!

Well, I said what I would start my blog about and wondered whether it should be about that, and thus it has begun with a mini-rant.

It was unintentional, but obviously it has stuck in my mind.

There are many things to catch you up on. Hardly as important, nor significant, but news of some sort in the life of Not So Spotless Mind.

1) I found out five days ago I passed my Masters. I got a "good pass"- essentially 63% I think it was. It is the equivalent of a 2:1 at undergrad level. It would have been a merit had RHUL not continued with the 65+ rule, which means that is a merit rather than most university with 60+!! Still I am more than chuffed. I did become very disillusioned with academia and thought I would barely achieve above 50! Still hasn't made me want to contemplate a PhD after it though, I am glad to say!!

2) Today I dyed my hair black. I was not going to do it for a variety of reasons. Mainly I was too scared. Secondly, my mam would tell me off- 23 and yes, I am still scared of my mother. Thirdly, I have never dyed my hair before and thought I ought to give it a go and I always wanted jet black hair. It turned out alright. It went bright purple for a while in which case my initial fears were first confirmed, then after washing it out it has turned out alright. I told my dad, who hadn't noticed, though had looked at me funny for a while. My brother had not noticed, though asked if I was going out. Some five hours later, asked if I had sprayed my hair black with the can of Halloween stuff I had used (and had consequently taken me approx.45minutes to comb out.) My mother still has not noticed.

3) I have mixed feelings about something I did today. Some girl has been playing around with my brother and his mates for the last year and today she rocked up at our house unannounced with her lil baby boy. Now whilst I loved children, I made her stay outside the front door in the freezing fog whilst my brother come to deal with her. I had just woken up, was groggy, grumpy and definitely pissed off generally with her. Whilst being the complete boob he always is with her, he let her, apologised for me and in return she smirked and simpered at him. He ineptly flirted and I felt awkward whilst buttering my now cold toast.... still, I felt really bad because she did have a lil'un on her hands who was so unbelievably cute and whom I had left outside, yet at the same time, I am just fed up of my brother being the doormat, however willing he is to be one. ARGH- I am ranting again. However, I wish to divulge some of my guilt on the interneting-void out there. I am sorry for her baby boy, but not for her. I should have acted differently. But as my primary school headmaster say, like you can never scrap toothpaste back into a tube, you can never take back what you do or say once they have been squeezed from the tube. I have remembered that since I was 7. Still haven't learnt anything from it.

4) Will and Kate Middleton have announced their engagement. A work colleague and I were discussing this yesterday and we said we should put money on it being announced in the next week. We should have done it because we would have been rolling in it now!! Still, CONGRATS to the pair!! I am dead chuffed plus it means uber royalist trips to various royalist camps a la Britain!! Whoop whoop!

5) My sunroof is leaking. Not amazingly tragic news I know, but honest to God it is p*ssing down like a rain forest INSIDE my car!! I couldn't see where I was going and had to pull over to try and block it up with a pair of tights I always have spare in my handbag in case of an emergency and also a small beech towel I have carried in my car since someone left it at our house after a house party. I am unsure as to why I put in my car... Still the other day, it was cold and frozen outside. I spent ages scraping ice from my car windows with anti-freeze. I got into my car which should have been heating up nicely and discovered that it was still fairly chilly. After waiting ten minutes.... still nothing. Couldn't see out of my windscreen. I lent forwards to scratch the condensation to found half a centimetre thick ice on the inside of my windscreen. Ten minutes later and all five of my windows de-iced and my car smelling a lot like de-icer and now being some twenty minutes late for work, I left (slightly high from the de-icer fumes) for work! Lesson to be Learnt: Get up earlier on frostier days to de-ice both INSIDE AND OUTSIDE of my car. I bet Kate Middleton doesn't have to deal with these sorts of dilemmas!!

This blog has been a mixture of rants and thoughts. I hope to get this blogging ball rolling and not to leave it too long again.

Having watched Julie and Julia, or is it Julia and Julie? Well, either way the film with Meryl Streep and Amy Adams in- it has galvinised me to blog, and also simultaneously give French cooking a go. I thoroughly enjoyed the film. It is about a 21st century American woman cooking all the dishes from Julia Child's first cookbook within a year and blogging about it whilst trying to find herslef, whilst simultaneously storytelling Julia Child's life in post-World War Paris (etc). It made me inwardly chortle, giggle, laugh out loud and exclaim at the inanimate TV screen! It is an almost ChickFlick in parts, drama in others, modern historical drama in sections... It is definitely worth a watch. It is on Sky Movies now!!! Be there or be Square!!

So yes, a brief and almost definitely obscured and linear view of some aspects of my life since 30th April. Surely more will come thick and fast now I have got that stubborn fountain pen to flow with bootifully clouded dusk-blue ink....

Adieu for now...

PS. Song of choices of the moment:
a) The Writer- Ellie Goulding

b) Hit the Road Jack- Ray Charles- partly inspired by Strictly Come Dancing and Scott Maslen's (from Eastenders and The Bill) Jive on Saturday, which was amazing!! Great song choice and great dancing- made me place it higher on the playlist!!!

c) Anything by Skunk Anansie- anything sung my her can be amplified by fifty- she was wickedly amazing at V Fest 2010!!! I fell in love with her then!

Quick Update

1) I met up with my Japanese pen-pal today- longer blog on this to follow! I had an amazing day and despite some lingual difficulties we cobbled together a very amusing and comfortable conversation! I had a really wicked afternoon!

2) I went to Camden and was ripped off by one fella who will be seeing me again next week, and given a discount by another lady because I was using a purse she sold to be ages ago! :) bonus! I wish I could have stayed longer there was a quartet on stilts playing instruments and singing, and generally it has been far too long since I have been there so it was nice to just have a wander around. Plus chinese pot for £3.50!? Have some!!

3) I have started my next essay reading- The role of the Virgin Mary in the Baltic Crusades of the 13th century. Can you get much further from Queen Victoria (my last essay)? I think not, but the reading is tres interesting and I shall no doubt try and keep you updated about all this jazz and interesting factoids I uncover.

4) I am really bad at texting people back. I will get on this. If you are one, my apologies. I am a shite friend.

5) It is Bank Holiday Weekend and I am looking forward to working. I am doing tours on Sunday and it is likely to be busy but they are the best tours. I have got some other factoids to throw in it as well to spice it up. My tours of late have been a bit lack-lustre. Of course, it does help that I am getting paid more this weekend :)

6) I am still poor. It is annoying but I am accepting it! I want a purple dress and since I am in debt anyway I am just going to go and buy it. It is £12 worth of joy I am willing to depart with.

7) I am getting back into cooking again, and it is all healthy!! I made Chicken a la Provincale (and that 'c' has a funny 5 underneath in). Tis French don't ya know... It was tasty and I am just nailing the juice/sauce factor at the moment. It was good, and I ahve some left for lunch tomorrow at work. Good times.

8)Hayfever- IT IS ANNOYING!! Apart from the fact that I can't afford to buy any more contacts, I can't wear them anyway because of the itchy eye syndrome!! Grrrr however I have blossom on my cherry-blossom tree. It is a sure sign of spring :)

9) After reading an Erica James book (one I have read a hundred times before) about a writing group, it has galvanised me to get back on the writing front again. Looking over some of my old stuff, it is good, but I can see where I ahve matured. Some of the descriptions surprised me, butthe turn of phrase in some parts was... to be honest cliched at best, bloody awful at worst. Still I am back on the writing front and venting all that fervour, the mental chaos in my mind. When I write, even here, I find that my thoughts seem to order themselves just by writing them down somewhere.

10) And finally, since I am poor- by the way did I mention this?- I am staying in a lot more but I am loving the fact that Jools Holland is back on TV. This is my Dad and I's favourite bonding moment of the week. We like obscure music, we relate to each other on two cultural things- films and music, though I am still trying to make him watch Blood Diamond and The Departed as two of the best films ever. He thinks I like them because Leonardo Di Caprio is in them. He is a hotty that I would happily stalk, but he is amazing in those films, a defo Daddy-friendly film.

And that is all for today, more updates as always to follow!!

The Essay Remission of Blogging

As most university students will know, the first week of the summer term at university is essay deadline week! Also known as Uber Stress Week!!

I have just altered the amount of days I work, and moved it up to four days (work was really obliging for this cheeky effrontery- it hink i mean this word???-, which is truly very sweet of them to an obnoxious studenty type like me!!) My essay was due yesterday at 3pm- not 9 nor 5 but 3- right in the middle of my working day.... thus I was at university at 8:30am to pop it under the door of the MA history dept. I sincerely hope someone has got it!! lol!!

I felt very organised this time, which is good considering I have now become just slightly more than part-time AND I found out yesterday that I got a voluntary (i.e. not paid) position at the archives at work every Friday!! :)

This is amazingly brilliant news. It has put me on a high- definitely yesterday and also today and may it long last till into the future!! :)

This is really just an apology post for such a long time in blogging and also to have a little bit of a boast. I feel I haven't had one in a while.

So work = money = :) (plus I really do enjoy working where I am- I am actually half dreading the day when I have to leave like so many of my friends.)

And archives = personal happiness.

All good times!! I shall post something of interest soon!! I am thinking of something tedious on Queen Victoria (what my recent essay was on) and also meeting my Japanese pen pal, Masayo!! I am meeting her on Friday at Trafalgar Square for a bite to eat and a cuppa tea. She doesn't speak much English and I do not speak any Japanese so sign-language and a lot of smiling will have to suffice :)

Update soon... I promise :)

I got back early evening yesterday from a weekend basically based in East Anglia. And I just realised something whilst travelling on the train, panicking that half the tube lines were shut and in my effing wisdom got on the wrong train to the wrong part of London where there were NO tube lines really running and I really HATE London buses. Apart from that I was having a minor epiphany.

My friend has got a new boyfriend and after a long time being single, she is saying it is hard work. Not that anything in life is always easy but you know... She has to think of someone else, when to meet them, etc and it is difficult. Now, I thought about me (as I always selfishly do) and wondered what I would do with a boyfriend. So long being on my own, and quite frankly 75% of the time I have been way happy to be just that, how would I adjust?

Known as "Lala" to my parents with a side portion of feminist cynic and alter ego DramaQueen, I don't think I would easily adapt at all. But on this train whilst mulling over my various fatal flaws, the inadequacies I have found in my life, and what I want from life I have come to the following thoughts. I would say conclusions, but that makes it sound so definite and certain, which out of all things, it certainly is not...

1) Yes, I want to travel and see the world. I would LOVE to see the world. I have a list of places and pictures and clippings from various papers and travel brochures. BUT. There is always a but. There are two things I need to add to this equation. One- I have not the funds to go further than Bury St. Edmund's, never mind flaming Bury in the North, and certainly not to go through Passport Control. Secondly- as much I want to see the world, there is no place I love more than home. Even though as uncool as it may seem, I live my rents. I love coming home. I would never live anywhere else I don't think. I may move to another country for a while, but always with the prospect of coming back home. I travel all over Britain visiting various friends, never really taking a foreign holiday, but then I don't need to. I don't have a stressful job, I read a lot so manage to control my stress by just leaving this plane of living for a while and live in the world of Percy Jackson, Harry Potter or Bella Swan- some kid who had an infinitely dangerous and exciting childhood. I love Britain. How confused I may have been to what is British, I know that I am. And NOT in a BNP kinda way.

2) I am never going to be wealthy. I have a good degree and can do anything with it, but I won't. I want a job that I enjoy, not that I will make lots of money from. I am square with this. I don't think I would want to be wealthy. I have a healthy respect for budgeting and surpassing it :)

3) Despite my mother's protestations that I am TOO picky and TOO serious and at the same TOO oblivious, I am quite happy holding out for "the right guy". I am enjoying my independence and I want to be a female version of Stephen Fry (albeit without homosexual tendencies), to live a bachelorette existence. I could be genuinely happy to never find anyone. That is scary, but also slightly reassuring. Anyhoo.

I love trains. They are my thinking places. Some people go for walks, me? I prefer public transport.

Anyhoo report on weekend antics sure to follow.

Also since I missed my 100th blog, this is my 175th I believe. I think I have waffled on for long enough!!

Stephen Fry flaying alive the Catholic Church: One Ex-Catholic's Views

You may have noticed that I beginning to get my flow back on the bloggingness and I have been checking out some new bloggers, and having found one and finding this YouTube clip on their site, I would still be feeling confused as to how I voice some of the intense despise I have for the faith I was so strongly brought up in.

I was brought up a strict Catholic. I went to church every Sunday- made to recite all the prayers by heart, kneel at the right parts, scorn those who were clear outsiders for not knowing when to stand-up/kneel/other... I went to a Catholic nursery, a Catholic primary school, a grammar Convent school and when I hit a Left-Wing almost socialist university, I guess it came to a head what I was really thinking.

WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?

I was uncomfortable with it long before this. It helped that my Dad's quiet Atheism counteracted the forcefulness of my Mam's faith, although I think she is not so strongly Catholic after divorcing my Dad and the reaction she got. But this counter-viewpoint always provided me with an axle with which I could step back and see two opposing viewpoints.

My Dad allowed by Mam to baptise both me and my brother a few months after we were born believing that perhaps it would instill in us some moral compass that perhaps had been lacking in his upbringing. (I have also been confirmed, and needless to say I have attended my Communion). I guess it did in some ways, and despite my sometimes intense dislike of organised religion, especially that of Catholicism, I won't regret it. I have an inbuilt system of right and wrong, almost- some may argue- to the point where I will argue the opposite of what I once believed in and to an extreme level. I am now very much a feminist, pro-life, pro-euthanasia and I often wonder what influence my education in Catholic institutions and within the Catholic faith had on me.

Taking a step back now, I can gain an open view and can understand how people can believe so devoutly. To the point on occasion that I can be jealous that I do not have the same hopes for my afterlife. (Of course, religion always crops up in death... curious, or as expected as that maybe...)

This clip of Stephen Fry on Catholicism, for the Intelligence Squared debate really got me thinking.

There is a lot inherently wrong with the Catholic faith but it hit the nail on the head for me.

I had a wild time once I reached university. Out of my homestead, away from most of my similarly educated friends and without such a strict force directing my moral compass, I "misbehaved". But Stephen really nails it on the head. The Catholic Church is NOT A FORCE OF GOOD. This is what he states. And with his usual clarity he states that the Catholic Church is obsessed with sex. Like an anorexic or the morbidly obese, this is the Catholic Church relationship with the Church in a "nutshell". Sex is "natural" and a "primary impulse" and to stop it is to deny the fundamental human nature. It is no different from saying that you deny yourself human contact, food or water. It would drive you mad or kill you.

NOTE: there is a great deal of historical literature beginning to emerge about the 'anorexic nun' and its connection to sex, self-denial, etc.

I would like to say that I never knew of any sexual abuse or anything whilst at school, but I can't deny that it doesn't go on. That aside, the money and wealth the Catholic church harbour, they do relatively little good with it. It isn't given away, they do not do earth-shatteringly religious or charitable deeds with it... They do not end world hunger... you know that they could probably begin to achieve that with their wealth...

And just as a closing point, Stephen pointed out how Thomas More, the torturer for what each Catholic now owns- a Bible in their own language- has now been made the patron saint of politicians by the current pope, I believe. What influence does history have on us? What sort of role model should More be to us? More accurately to politicians?

Just my deep philosophical thought of the day :) probably of the week :)

Highlight Of The Day

My friend said to me today (paraphrasing) that when an old colleague gets back in touch with you, and THAT is the highlight of your day, then your life needs spicing up.

Well, no old colleague got in touch with me today. Nope, but the highlight of my day today was working out the geometrical issue of getting a too-large sofa out of a too-small door that Dad built. The first problem was overcome by taking the sofa out of the patio doors and turning it around in the garden before heading back in to find with the kitchen surface/large sofa/door frame issue it just wasn't going to fit.

Humph. Me to the rescue. Lift it above surface, Dad turn the corner bit there, then Bruva turn that there, and lower that end and shove and hey presto: I am a geometric genius and I didn't know it.

However I think the case was more that I was not doing any of the lifting, was standing back and could see the issues.

Plus side? Dad thinks I may be capable now of helping to negotiate and indeed have the privilege of carrying in the new, albeit smaller cream sofas. Praise Jeebus. Any larger and I suggest we take the roof off to get them in. Truly.

The highlight of my day yesterday by the way? Are you interested?

Well, if not, tough!

After the whole "You are so closed off, emotionally unavailable, defensive" etc comments from the Mothership over the last few weeks, I managed to pick up a 60 year old bloke in Tescos and only ten minutes before have an early 30 year old guy Tesco-worker try and chat me up about tomatoes... I told him technically tomatoes shouldn't be in the Veg section but the fruit, since they are indeed a fruit. Or even the salad section. No witty comeback unfortunately. I do this to try and make convo/see if there is any connection...

NOPE. "Oh right... cool tomatoes though" was the reply. Ah well. The 60-odd-year-old man it is!! I just hope "cool tomatoes" weren't an euphemism... or is "a euphemism"? It just doens't sound right with "an"... *ponders*

The Gentleman-Of-A-Certain-Age asked me whether I was married, had a boyfriend, who was the meal for, why was I drinking red wine on a Tuesday night... I concocted a great story- it is my friend's birthday (thus the birthday card I was buying- I lost the really cool one I had bought some time ago for this occasion grrrr) and I was cooking her dinner. *I wasn't by the way- the dinner was for Mam and Bruva whilst Pops is on business meeting away and the red wine was to steady my nerves about the imminent food poisoning and also delving into my deepest flaws, which seems to have becomes a nightly fascination*

Short of inviting himself for dinner, he said he will pop into 'Kew', the ladies clothes shop that I said I worked part time in. (In fact I went to an interview before my summer job at WC came up and they said I had no fashion style. I was offended at the time, but now I am just pleased.) We have enough funny characters around the castle without inviting more... I know I lied and I am going to hell, but both our dignities have been preserved and I did genuinely have a nice chat with him. So much so I blogged about him, right?

So, in summary, that is, or rather, they are my two highlights over the last two days!

Spice up your life? Nah, thanks! I can barely handle this one!! lol!!

Make-Up Free

I HAVE BEEN MAKE-UP FREE FOR TWO WHOLE DAYS.

Now this may not seem the revelation to you, but I literally cannot go a day, especially when exiting the homestead, without a bit of make-up on. Some days it is not the full works, just a bit of concealer for that stubborn spot, a splash of coloured lip balm and a quick flick of mascara and I am done. Other days it is the full works- concealer-ville, foundation, eye make-up, eye liner, eyebrow marker, blusher, more concealer, powder, tons of mascara and uber amounts of lipstick and lip gloss. What can I say? I AM REALLY VAIN. I won't even go into hair routine, although I have come up with a 'cool' wild look that involves some wet hair and a bit of mousse and let it be free = big 1980's hair = :D. Otherwise straightening for the wild tresses takes TIIIIMMEEE!

I have always said that you've got to work with what you have been given. Now, there isn't much that I like about me, but hair, eyes and boobs. Emphasise that and hopefully I will stumble through life with an ounce of self-confidence.

Now, a lot of people, namely close friends, wonder why I bother. It is not like I do the boyfriend/dating thing. It is not like I do go out a lot. It is not to impress people. For me, make-up is like painting on a face for the outside world. A bravado I can hide behind. I think it probably stems for wearing uber amounts of make-up as a small child when I was dancing on stage- yes, we are talking lots of blue eye shadow, huge eyelashes, bright red lippy and pan stick of the deepest orange you could find!! Then we were painting on a persona. I guess it has kind of continued.

Now today I am going without the make-up comfortable in my own skin!

It helps that my skin is really clear- an additional bonus for losing a stone since this 'hypnotise yourself slim' course I did at work. I have had a bit of a naughty week filled with mini Lindt eggs that I got for Easter and I had tea and toast at 11pm last night, which is bad but to be honest I stayed up till half two, first watching a scary horror movie called The Messengers, with Kirsten Stewart in (from the Twilight movies) and the cool dude from My Big Fat Greek Wedding and Raising Helen, who was really evil in this film. Then I had to stay up an hour and a half afterwards to try and get over the repercussion of watching a scary movie so late at night!! I read a chick flick (Erica James of course) in an attempt to find my happy place again.

So apart from the bags under my eyes this morning, I feeling pretty damn good about noooooo make-up and I shall be visiting Tescos and the post office today so I shall exeunt house unlike yesterday.

So that's all for now folks, another rambling post!! Happy Tuesday!!

Something of a National Identity Crisis?!

Spurred on my receiving yet another amazing gift from my Japanese pen-pal (this time the most beautiful book ever of photographic views of Japan and all written in English- so no need to bust out the ye olde Japanese dictionary!) but it made me wonder: WHAT IS TRADITIONALLY ENGLISH?

Now, I am not going all BNP on you or anything, but I am generally not sure what I can send back. We are such a mish-mash of cultures, which I personally love by the way- I like being able to get decent Indian curry paste and Polish poppy-seed cake from my high street- but it throws into question whether my friend will think I am being obnoxious/weird/odd/other to send her what is technically another culture's object (for want of a better word).

Now tea is a traditional English thing, but to be honest I think Japan has enough tea leaves to be going on with. Plus I am fairly sure we still import all tea leaves from Asia. Maybe a teacup??... Tis puzzling me... And in addition to me worrying about what to send and what is appropriate, I am also concerned at the same time by delineating this some much, am I being racist? ignorant? other? I am unsure. However, I am fairly sure my mother would say I am looking too deep into this!!

I am sending her a Cadbury's 'Creme Egg' for Easter (yes, belatedly so) but I thought that was fairly iconic English item, right? I also sent her some cute, kitschy English-related Christmas trinket things along with the necessary "Mars" bar- made in mine home town SLOUGH! Yay! Give it up for Slough... or... not? I also home-made the box it went in with all manner of ice-skating polar bears and cute Christmas-decorating penguins and ballet-dancing angels. You know. Real kitsch stuff. I like that kinda stuff and I think we English do that well...

Anyhoo the problem still stands, what is English and packageable to Japan? Shall I send her the entire collected works of Jane Austen in Japanese? Dickens? A teapot? A teapot probably isn't all that travel safe by royal mail to be honest...

Well, what really got me thinking about this was reading the foreword of the book I was sent. It is written by the fashion designer Kenzo Takada, and really highlights how he found his own national identity whilst in Paris, so maybe I should take myself off somewhere and find what is typically British or English... that would be nice, eh? :)

So this is a part of what he says: "2005 marks the fortieth year since I left for France to try my hand in the fashion world. At the time, I doubt I really gave much thought to Japan's traditions or the country's culture. Of course, Japanese culture has, like a cut diamond, many wonderful facets... Strangely enough, it was only after I had started living in Paris that I came to realise the value of Japan's traditional culture. When I had my first show as a designer and began thinking about who I was and what I was doing, I came to the conclusion that my identity lay in my home country, Japan, and in Asia."

I don't see myself as "European" as Kenzo locates himself not only within his country's borders but within his land, although some might, but I do consider myself as British but short of sending chicken tikka masala, fish and chips or bubble-and-squeak, or even alternatively some chintzy cushion covers, I am abashed at how to reply. However, as an aside, I think as a people, the British suffer severely from Island syndrome. We are part of the continent yet physically not really.

In addition, Masayo (my friend) always sends me the most amazing cards and letterheads ever! I mean really nice. Even in Paperchase and other fine stationary-related places I have been unable to find writing stuff to parallel this!! When I have a functioning camera again I shall be taking pictures of it all for you!! Please let me know of anywhere good to get great writing paper!!

And running simultaneously to this self/national identity crisis I/we are having, I am reading about Queen Victoria and how she made the national identity by being a passive female, yet a strong ruler and combining different levels of her own identity to fit in within that of society's and at the same time influence it. With that I am also looking into the Great Exhibition of 1851- I would love to go back and see this in the flesh; I think it would have been truly amazing! The Great Exhibition was about promoting market competition, providing 'rational recreation' for the masses i.e. education, it was to show off the best of what Britain and its colonies had to offer, to promote world peace (enter Miss World) and help all nations to follow Britain's great steps to 'progress' themselves and reach the ultimate civilisation. Modest, weren't we? Lol.

The Victorians really had it nailed what they were, what they wanted and quintessentially what was British. Foreign influences were introduced as part of the everyday culture of Britain (like the Great Exhibition) but yet it was always distinctly different. Perhaps I am not as confused as I thought- despite tikka masala being invented over here and not in England, I still realise that it is really an 'Indian' dish. That 'separateness' still exists in some ways, but hopefully that irritatingly superior tone of the Great Exhibition is absent from today's discourse. In fact on a political note, I don;t think we could lead anyone to "progress" and "civilisation" now.

On an additional and ironic note, the Crimean War ended the "world peace" and international trade competition fairly rapidly after the Great Exhibition had concluded... just under 3 years I think???

However, all thoughts and ideas welcome... I am going to stop waffling. I apologise for the very extended and weird rant. I have been sitting at this computer now for 8 hours researching into "civic publicness" of Queen Victoria and perusing hundreds of The Times newspapers :)

Nighty night, looking forward to a less-confused-more-happy-bunny tomorrow!!

FLIP FLOPS

I was listening to Fearne Cotton's Radio 1 show, like I do most days, and the last couple of days she has been galvanising people to set their feet free and wear FLIP FLOPS whilst the sun is out. After all, we jokingly said last year, in the Spring, that this is our summer, and lo-and-behold our summer wasn't that great!!

So today I re-painted my toenails an electric blue and donned my most comfortable pair of flip flops- black with silver embroidery- after all it is the second time wearing them this year and you really need to break them in! It felt good. I busted them out in Asda and everything, though it was a mite chilly in the refrigerated section.

I was a late comer to the joys of flip flops, but now I have found them in my life I am enjoying them immensely. I think it harks back to the days of dancing ballet en pointe and having cracked toenails, blisters, and general ugly looking feet that I am now basking in their reflected light of joy!

So for those of you living in the British Isles and hoping to tempt the sun into staying out longer, wear your flip flops. Cast aside the sock, trainer, boot and closed-toe shoe. Let your feet breathe and feel the freedom of Spring!

Film Review: Alice In Wonderland

I went to the cinema for the first time in AGESSSSS to see in 3D Alice in Wonderland, the latest Tim Burton/Johnny Depp/Helena Bonham-Carter team up.

It was IMMENSE despite some of the negative feedback it has received. I believe on IMDB.com one person has called it "the most generic and heartless Tim Burton movie since Planet of the Apes". OUCH! I am a huge Tim Burton fan and an even bigger Johnny Depp fan. In addition as lady crushes go, Helena Bonham-Carter is a hotty (Mainly due to her work in A Room with a View, Howard's End and Bellatrix in Harry Potter to be quite frank!!) SO despite the love going on there, as quality of films go, in short, I was not expecting a helluva lot from this movie. The tide of criticism was as high as the white cliffs of Dover from some people who are even bigger fans of Burton than me... HOWEVER. I was completely blown away by it. I really loved it and I will be purchasing it on DVD when it comes out!

A stellar British cast was involved including Barbara Windsor as the doormouse (Peggy from Eastenders for those commoners who do not know her for her Carry On movies), Stephen Fry as the Cheshire Cat (I bloody love that man!), Helena Bonham-Carter- of course-playing the Red Queen, Alan Rickman as the blue Caterpillar- I could recognise that man's sexy voice a mile off, and Matt Lucas playing both Tweedledum and Tweedledee.

We also have Anne Hathaway as the White Queen with some weird hand/interpretive dance gestures going on, Johnny Depp (phwoar) as the Mad Hatter with a pretty fabulous dance at the end (FACTOID: Hatters often when mad 18th/19th century; it was the mercury they used in the hat making process that had psychotic side-effects and often altered their hair colour, so Depp's exotic hair colour is not too far from the truth.)

As character's go, they were well developed for a big blockbuster. Depp played at times a deep and sensitive Mad Hatter; Helena Bonham-Carter as a "Just Wants To Be Loved" evil character- insecure and in deep need of psychiatric help; Alice was the nuts though. Played by Mia Wasikowska, a newbie to me as an actress, Alice came to life. She was a character that you could invest in... well emotionally I guess but then I think that maybe a bit too exaggerated, but because you believe her to be a real character with charm, wit and smarts that you kinda get involved with her working out the plot of the dream/world she is in. I read a review on a fellow blogger's site and she kinda nails it. There are no good, strong heroines out there in films or in books at the moment. There is a deficit of female gumption, as Eli Wallach's character (Arthur) puts it in The Holiday to Kate Winslet (Iris). Great film by the way if you want to see a great chick flick.

This lack of female strength and being a bit flimsy is kind of inherent at the moment in life, but Alice has managed to claw back some ground previously lost. I know I do go on a lot about femaleness and feminism and just the need to prove ourselves (of which my mam says to me I push too far and alienate people- which again may be true- but I shall avoid the delving into my deepest character flaws to another time) but there is just such a lack of gumption, and I really can't find a better word for it, that we really do need to alter.

BACK TO A LIGHTER NOTE! Artistically the film was a triumph. Absolutely stunning. I never got to see Avatar but I can imagine what it would have been like. Wearing the fifth-time-hand-me-down 3D glasses and eating jelly tots and 'lips and teeth' sweets whilst swigging Pepsi I had a thoroughly great time. Of course, the company really made the day *hugs*. The film was just the icing as they say, but of course any day with Johnny Depp is, by far, a wonderful day well spent :)

From "Poundlund" to free parking (always a bonus for the newly initiated driver) what an immense day. Epic triumph in sort. Slough didn't let us down :) Yay!

PS. Also a shout out to the costume designer- amazing!! Just Alice's dresses were fabulously thought out alone!!

Cliveden, Buckinghamshire

Some photos I stole from Google. I forgot to take a camera/own a camera. Epic fail on my part!!

I remember visiting Cliveden for the first time when I was 15. I went with my best pal at the time and her father. She was, and still is, a last minute ninny and had to finish her GCSE art project. She had done the final piece, I think, but you had to have all the back-up research stuff, which, of course, she hadn't done. So we went to Cliveden to photograph trees- this is my friend who got me into my love of tree- and church-hugging. A great pasttime by the way!!

So we climbed hills and photographed trees and had chicken pie and scrambled over fallen trees trunks and slipped on slimy wet rocks. It was a great day.

The last time I visited it was to see a Shakespeare play in the outdoors, Much Ado About Nothing I think it was. I went with my friend's family again but not with her randomly. It was a really great night, sitting out in the last remaining sun of the summer holidays, having a sandwich or sausage roll and a bottle of beer.

Today I went again. It was glorious sunshine yesterday when we planned to go, but typical English weather as per usual it was a dull grey and drizzly. I had a cuppa tea at her house and chatted with her mam whilst catching up on gossip, new clothing purchases and drooling over the hunks in the Chippendales programme (they went to go and see them :>). We then went to Cliveden. We sat and chatted for ages at the "Canning tree" (named after the Prime Minister, who committed suicide in his bathtub I believe- WRONG= I just Wikipedia'd it- it was his enemy Castlereagh who did that... damn, giving out false factoids...). I gave some boring historical factoids and she some botanical info. It was all very anoraky and great! It rained a little and we frolicked in the fountains and larked around the trees and random buildings placed throughout the garden. I was a lovely day just chatting about boyfriend issues (her side naturally), friends, life, etc. It was like the old days but we felt more grown up now doing this without parentals.

I bought my nan a birthday card and sent her a flower from the garden. I hope she understands and doesn't think I am just being random.

That is my day in summary with a little harking back to some good old memories of my school years. I did nothing on my essay despite my good intentions, but I am absolving myself since I haven't blogged this month yet and I am making up for lost time.

Tomorrow I am getting up at 8:30am and getting straight on the essay. No shirking tomorrow. I will have done all my primary research and will be typing up all my notes from my secondary reading. I will make progress tomorrow!!

As for now, more posts to follow...

for more info on Cliveden House and Grounds: la voila!

SINGSTAR NIGHT

So, I guess I have kept you waiting long enough to find out the climax of the much hyped SingStar night...

Well truth of the matter is, I do not remember much. I woke up with more bruises than someone been dragged over a pot-holed two-mile road, I had a hangover that allowed me to move, but want to throw up at the sight of alcohol/food, and finally the washing machine full of freshly washed bed linen, shirts and towels told me someone had a throwing up session.

On retreating back to bed after a momentous drinks-can-clearing and surfacing-wiping session, with floor-sweepage-and-moppage thrown in for good measure, I cleaned up the rest of my friend's sick. The flashbacks were really starting. My friend had thrown up in my bed and had tried to turn the pillow over to hide it. It covered a lot of my bookshelf too. My poor beloved books. Sometimes I wonder if I love my books more than people...
I remember the relationship breakup with resulting peoples going missing and the drunken mission to comb the streets finding them. I remember harrassing the pizza man and the unfortunate man who found us a 4 in the afternoon drunk as lords but still trying to sell us cleaning stuff.

I remembered having an hour or so clearing up the pools of sick around my room and on my mam's fairly new cream carpet. I remember scrubbing with all my life. I remember the frustration of everyone saying leave it till tomorrow. I wish I had but then I know it would have been so much harder to shift and it is all the more do-able when pissed yourself.

The bruises after a long batch of texting various friends I ascertained came from me falling down the stairs. Apparently I hit every step from the top to the bottom, punctuating the rapidly falling silence in the kitchen with a fuck, shit, bollocks and climaxing with taking my friend's feet out from under her and sending us both hurtling down the remaining stairs. Thus resulting in the bruises.

Before this I also thought it would be immensely amusing to try and beat up brother's mate in a play fight. He is karate trained. I lost. Badly. However, I found "Dangerous Woman" written on a bit of paper on my bed. :P I love my Lil Bruva's school friends; they're all like mini other brothers. Very odd kidz but I would take them all home when they have been out on the Razz with my brother- none of them are as large as my brother nor can hold quite as much booze. They really make me laugh, really like my brother. They are jokers in short. And as my mother keeps telling me- I am far too serious and need to lighten up "if you want anyone to like ya!" Thanks mam, but maybe she has a point huh?

So SINGING- it was a SingStar night right? Well, I don't remember what I sung but apparently my version of Amy Winehouse's Rehab was awful so I am told. I think we may have to do it again but with a little less booze and a little less sick, and also without the relationship breakup with which I had to deal amongst my other domestic duties. Man tears were something I could not handle whilst pissed as a fart. His girlfriend rolling around on the lawn being sick and crying was also something that perhaps gave me less time to participate in the Karaoke. However, all in all these are what makes the memories of the night. What a random night all in all.

Next time, we need more pizza, I need to eat both lunch and dinner. I need to avoid the whiskey, the blackcurrent "Sourz" shots, the vodka shots and Lambrini- yes, because girls do wanna have fun and just for the record, yes it may be a "Chavvy" drink but I can handle it a whole heap better than the whiskey I was drinking. I am shuddering now thinking about it!!

Also on a plus note, we have oodles of booze left. Two crates of beer, two bottles of wine, a bottle of Lambrini which has since been recently drunk :P, two bottles of vodka, half a bottle of whiskey and some cider. A good return I feel for my cleaning antics, although I doubt I will be touching the whiskey in a hurry. I may have to return it to the friend who broke up with his girlfriend. I fear he may need it more than us :)

Most of all the paper plate art and messages that were left were immense. They said thanks and sorry, etc. It was real nice touch. I think it went well. I had a good time!! Rob my bruva had a good time. I guess that is all that counts.

I have regained some of my dignity and my foot is now slightly less blue and more able to walk on (my latsing physical proof of falling down the stairs). We are almost recovered housewise and life is going back to normal. Next time I want a go on the Abba SingStar which I missed out on this time round!!

That is all folks on the SingStar partyness :)

Brief Update Before the Chaos Ensues...

Okay so it is Friday, THE Friday before the SingStar Extravaganza. Am I hyping this up too much?

I think I may be.

I have been warming up my vocals by singing in my car to Abba, Duffy, Lady GaGa, Florence and the Machine, The Killers, etc whilst stuck in traffic in Egham/Old Windsor of all places!? However, there was a major crash, and little car is now a very tiny car that a dwarf possibly would not fit in. I am hoping the people inside were alright. The Van on the other side seemed pretty badly damaged but still van-shaped. I think we can work out who won the Van vs Small Car competition. It made me and Lil Beryl worried and very nervous. It could have been us, that little red car crumpled.

So I was warming up vocals, passing by bits of car and bopping as I have been given to doing of late, and I was pondering life. As you do. It ain't half bad. So maybe like yesterday's post of "Happy Thursday", this is a bit of a "happy Friday!"

I am a bit of a gimp when it comes to social interaction with unknown/strange peoples but "The Crusaders" are like some of the nicest welcoming people ever on a historically based course in the world!! I haven't been to every historically based course in the world, but I still know that they would be tops! They really welcomed a stoopid, non-crusading, doing-this-for-a-lark-cum-it-interests-me as I was. Genuinely amazing to see them in Crosslands today :) Very nice bunch.
Also had a small amount of chillax time with Lucy and co. Will meet up with her over the Easter holidays for some Essay downtime and lunch procrastination- part of the university culture is to procrastinate by eating. I am down with this!

So yes, all round social thumbs up, all round vocal high five and also got thrown a couple of books by the legend that is Jonathan Phillips (Prof. btw) so I hoping these books will make my essay marvellous. One can only hope.

On a penultimate note, I am going to the pub tonight. I am driving = no drink = good for impending doom of the bank balance. I also have the wondrous sum of £9 to spend tonight on all manner of non-alcoholic beverages. That is my budget and I am sticking to it! We are trying a new pub which is called "The Vanny" by its regulars. Should be interesting. I will give full report Monday/Tuesday time. Right now, I am thinking I need to read those books and clean the upstairs bathroom before the party tomorrow.

And on a final note it is indeed SingStar Extravaganza tomorrow. I will also give you an update of how this goes with some possible photos and almost certainly no voice recordings. I shall not put you through the ear death that will be any inebriate singing at this party. Full update to come beginning part of next week!!

Signing off for the weekend...

HAVE A GOOD ONE EVERYONE!!!!

Happy Thursday

I guess I need to start coming up with better titles than the ones I use.

But then again it is kinda to the point!!

I am thinking that today has been a good day.

I have procrastinated from doing history reading/historical thinking of essayness... that is pretty much standard.

I have discovered some CDs to bust out to pre-Karaokeness at Karaoke party- sorry, sorry sorry "SingStar" party. For the uninitiated it is basically Karaoke on the Playstation. We need to get drunk before any Karaoke is partaken of. These CDs my brother made for my mam's 50th birthday party but never bothered to write what is on each CD so obviously apart from listening to some ace tuneage (and also some truly shite tuneage) and having a bit of a bop along to old skool tracks, I had to work out what was what on each CD. We weren't allowed to go too new in June 2009 for the majority of the attendees were of the same ages as the rentals but without the updated taste in music (to be fair both my Rentals love Radio 1 like me :>).The non-Radio 1-ners would stereotypically bust out phrases such as "in my day music was not this loud...." "what racket is this?!" and "this is music?!" Some of which had been directly applied to my music. Muse was contraband item for her birthday bash and Queen for my brother was also a no-no, but still he managed to sneak not so subtly two Queen tracks onto pretty much every CD. Love his work, love it! Wish I had been so bold!

Anyway back to the point, so I was procrastinating with a little bit of dusting the lounge and tidying the sun room and also a bit of the downstair's WC U-Bend cleanage too whilst trying to work out what song was playing. It was a mix between "Never Mind the Buzzcocks" Guess the Tunes round whilst trying to hear the music over the gargling of the washing machine near the toilet and a Pub Quiz- of Guess the Track Before the Lyrics Start- ever do that?? Well I was goooood.... but then it does help that me and my brother tend to toe the same line where music is concerned. Well, most of the time. He did call Muse shit for a long time, but he came around in the end when I dragged his arse to see them live. That was a great day!! Without me Bon Jovi would never have been a love, nor Muse and Aerosmith. What can I say? I think for myself as a Demagogue of Music to my Lil Bro. He would kill me for saying that.

BTW- I had to make sure I was using the word Demagogue right- here is the definition: demagogues - Charismatic leaders willing to use emotionally-manipulative appeals coupled with simplistic and subjective explanations to mobilize constituencies... (from publiceye.com) I think ti may be fairly accurate :)

But on the other hand I also would like to claim ignorance when he starts on his uber cheesey style music- I am talking love ballads with eyes closed hand held out in front of you- those kind of love ballads. Oh yes.
There is a time and a place. For me... it is rare, verging on never. But then I am a love cynic so it fits my bill that I listen to Muse where we talk of "I can't remember when it was good, moments of happiness elude... and I feel my world crumbling, feel my life crumbling, feel my soul crumbling away.. watching the fantasies decay" (Falling Away With You) and "You will suck the life out of me" (Time is Running Out).

Anywoo I had a wicked time having a bit of a bop around the toilet this afternoon...

Now I am thinking I ought to get back to the Virgin Mary as a tool in the Crusades in Medieval times.

Sometimes the simple things in life can just be to easy to enjoy, so today, or rather tonight, I am going to grasp the simple things and enjoy them, for no doubt another day when I want to moan will be fast approaching!!

Paramore in Radio One Live Lounge

Just in contrast to Cheryl Coles' debarcle in the Radio One Live Lounge, I was pondering what else youtube.com had to offer of the joys of Live-Loungeness... apparently a lot!! And it was here I found one of my fav bands at the moment performing really casually, and in relaxed and less hyped up setting "Ignorance", one of their singles. A-MA-ZING. Totally brill. Check it out. Best four minutes of your life.

And you can so see in the boys' faces half way through that they know that they had totally nailed this track. Hayley was singing with her eyes shut, knowing the timing, pitch and rhythm of all of the song without looking to the boys for reference or reassurance. It was the exuding confidence that is so captivating. She believes in what she is doing I guess. Cheryl Cole, on the other hand, bless her, had a hand constantly pinned to her ear-piece throughout the majority of her live version of "Parachutes".

It was a nice piece to watch. Young people have got it going on!!!

Cheryl Cole Radio One Live Lounge

Now I have every single Radio One Live Lounge album, just because YES I AM that sad. However, it says something. I like people who can sing live and kinda put themselves on the line singing something out of their own lil genre. Cheryl, I think, did neither. She isn't the first, nor I doubt the last the fail to accomplish both these aims behind the concept of Radio 1's Live Lounge but there you are. As a high profile character she almost had a duty to do it well, especially since her 'singing', or rather more accurately miming, was so out of sync on the Brits. It is really her time to prove people that she is a music artist, not a WAG with marriage difficulties.

Now Cheryl... well, I do have a wee bit of a soft spot for her, but Jeez she can't sing. I know she has had bronchitis and all that jazz, but above is her cover of Owl City's "Fireflies". I think she sounds flat and a little bit out of her depth.

On a lighter note her songs "Fight for this Love" and "Parachute" I really like- to the point where I knew the words to "Parachute" without realising it was her singing it... She is a lovely lady who has done charity work and I do just like her personality. But her role on the X-Factor has gotta be called into question, surely? Judging live, raw singing talent... but then to be fair we haven't exactly heard Simon Cowell pipe out a few notes have we?

Anyway, try and enjoy the above video nicked from you del tube :)

SMILING DAYS

I am glad to inform you that I have managed to find my happy place again!!

Money worries have been replaced by applying for more days at work which has been duly noted and things are in motion to get it going, so I will be working within the next month four days a week, which my bank manager will be very happy with. University work will be taking a backseat, or rather I will just have to get my arse into gear.... or a into g (my new favourite phrase of the week) and get my Victorian Essay done over Easter and get my Crusades one done ASAP and the horrid philosophy of history one done before end of May too. The project is gonna be a bit of a further delve into my undergraduate dissertation so I hoping that this is gonna be 'easy', maybe I should say easier??

In addition, I am two pounds away from losing a stone (which was my end of March target), which is immense. It is weigh in day tomorrow- so I may blog and let you know. However, if you don't hear anything, fear the worst.

I did have a little bit of a bad week this week- there was a Donner Kebab on Friday evening but the dude who now knows me and my brother gave us uber amount of chillies which are supposed to be amazing for digestion I heard from a mate this week, so yay- I am pretty sure it balances out. Also went for garlic "dough"- friend has given up bread- yes, bread for Lent. I have heard of chocolate, sweets, crisps and even God forbid alcohol for Lent, but bread? Well, let me tell thee, it is a first. SUMMARY: I had an amazing day.

Then I went to go and see Derren Brown (all this was occurring in Soton) and he was literally fabulous!! From making a bloke lay balanced between two chairs, tambourines & chalk and all manner of crazies it was just an amazing entertainment show that makes you come out singing (of which I can't and won't tell ya the lyrics- it is a big give away) and saying "how the fuck did he...." In short it was immense and helped friends get over boyfriend/getting made redundant dramas. It was a great night that I think I may dedicate a wee bit of a post to- I wrote one the morning afterwards on the train back home on a bit of paper and I just need to find it and type it up. Also need to regale the saga of my friends' flat which is a cross between Calcutta and Hiroshima. *shudders* bless their inner studenty soul.

Then I had a visitation from my friend who "lives up north" since I was 17. We went to the hell hole (which we universally agreed on yesterday over lunch and a pint). She lives in Southport now and I haven't seen her in 3 years so it was immense to catch up. Another of our "alternative corner" friends rocked up. It was an amazing afternoon of chicken and leek pie with chips and gravy for me, mash for them. It was just a nice catch up to be honest.

Also it is the last week of being taught for my Masters. I would like to say it had been all fun and frolics, but that is a lie. I am thinking I am glad it is over, to be allowed to get more work (ie. getting paid work- 9 to 5 kind, not the illicit street walking kind either- which has been conjured up several times over the last few months by mates- it makes me chuckle because I am such a prude!!!)and get on writing the essays I wanna write whether they receive a hugely personal character assassination or not. Either way, persevere and slog through it all!!

And lastly, I had a bootiful lie-in this morning. It was lush. I rolled over, fell off the propped up pile of pillows- I do have an insane amount of pillows on my bed- what can I say I am a pillow fiend- on which I had been balanced precariously on due to a cold- I have a scabby nose, which is really the worst of it to be honest, and the pillows just aid the breathing without snoring during the night thang- so there is a genuine excuse this time to have an insane amount of pillows on my bed MWHAHAHAHAHAHA! However, I feel pretty good. So yeah, now I am going to be a cool chick and tidy my bedroom and start getting bits and pieces ready for essays and also the SingStar extravaganza happening at my house over the weekend. Karaoke for the drunk. Good times. I am thinking The Brother (who is back in the good books again- bless his lil cottons) has invited enough people for me not to sing, so I can get merry in the corner and eat pizza. Whoop whoop!!

Roll on the Smiling Days baby!!

WOW IT IS MARCH

Okay, it has taken me to the 16th to realise it is indeed March. I think it is symbolic of my state of mind. Half "Can't Be Arsed", half let's disappear into "Lala Land", my own little world of gremlins, trees, medieval dress and Johnny Depp.

Let's get the bad stuff over with shall we?

Okay, well, here I go... I warn you now it is full of self-pitying humour but without the humour... I have warned you...

1) I have fallen out the wagon on the weight loss front. I am sure as hell not eating as much but the exercise has taken a knock. Well, okay maybe this is not that bad. It is not the first time. But I was looking forward to our family summer holiday to Spain- okay it is the uber Brit/Paddy-ville of Spain but I am not in England. I was losing weight for this, now my impetus to look good in a swimsuit has vanished. I will just wear my "slimming black collection" of clothes for yet another summer. However it is good news for my bank account to not go on holiday, thus leading me to gripe #2...

2) I am broke. My car broke down and cost me £500 to get it up and running again and now have no petrol, with the view of petrol prices going up 3p a gallon. Depressing quite frankly to have a car. I do love Beryl with all my heart but she is literally sapping money out of me at the moment. I also owe some serious money, am owed some serious money, need to flog a few things (bought to flog) to earn me some serious dough, and at some point need to wage war with the TV Licensing company who ripped uber amounts of money off me. Bastards.

3) University. Well, enough said I think. I am definitely not doing a PhD now. I would rather saw my hands off. Essaying for my Victorian culture class is going well; not so much for my Women and the Crusades class. I have no idea of where to tap sources!! Literal nightmare.

4) My family are constantly irritating me, in particular my mam and brother, The A Team. Whatever I do, it is just not enough, for the proverbial sun will always perpetually shine out of my brother rear end for my mother. He 'didn't have time' to order flowers for mum for mother's day, so dad did (OK The Brother did pay for them)and then The Brother failed to pick them up because he was still in bed, so dad went and got them, fell over the step in the garden that has been there for an age and fell on the flowers. STILL he is a flaming saint. My brother, not my dad. My dad got told off for yelling at the brother. I, however, a week in advance bought card and gifts- PLURAL- and really put some thought into it. Humph. I did get a thank you so that is something.
Also on an additional note on the brother- his laziness kills me!!! He doesn't even wash his own shirts!! I sit on the sofa knowing he has none clean for the next day at work and I have to go and wash them because I know he will probably just re-wear the less smelly one!! Also someone (a bitch I might add) at work pulled me up about his deportment!! He is untidy and slovenly. Humph. Like what am I supposed to do about it? Well, I polished his flaming shoes at half seven in the morning and he took them off me and put them on without even a thank you.

Anyway rant on that front over!!

The positives:

1) Went for a cultural extravaganza in Southall- art exhibition and genuine curry :) twas amazing all round. Friend's exhibit was really good. Definitely the best but then I am biased. I am looking forward to the fotos coming onto Facebbok so I can show you some of the stuff there! Some pretty great art stuff going on... but some were a little bizarre like the "70cm Shutter" where you had to crawl into the warehouse to enter whilst apparently being filmed. A great laugh to the creation of that monstrosity but if I ever meet that unfortunate soul, tis beats for them! LOL! Overall, it was a fab evening!! I had a real great night out breaking out from the domestic sphere hemming me in atm!

2) I actually managed to give away some tickets for work!! Woohoo two mates came round the castle and we had a bit to eat and bevvie! Just nice to have a catchup and hang out with a different bunch.

3) Tomorrow I am heading off (spending even more monies but it is so worth it) to Southampton to have lunch with a pal and then see Derren Brown wots-his-name-person-thingy-me-bob with old school mates. That will perk me up.

4) I have a clean bathroom thanks to moi. It has been getting me down. It was a game of who will break first I think. I cracked, but the plus is a shiny clean bathroom though I forgot to scrub the toilet- crucial- I poured liberal amounts of bleach down it but I forgot about it. Went in there a while ago and found it smelling overwhelmingly of bleach. "Doh!" comes to mind!! LOL

5)I am downloading music I can ill-afford but it is making me smile. Check out the following:

a)Stay Too Long by Plan B
b)The Cave by Mumford and Sons
c) Devil's Spoke by Laura Marling
d)You and I; Die Alon; Glass by Ingrid Michaelson
e) The hereafter- haven't bought this yet as it is a bit odd and I haven't made my mind up!!

I am also liking the Radio 1 Live Long version of Halo by Florence and the Machine. Oooooo additionally The Dirtee Love by Dizzee Rascal and Florence is gooooood too!
Also recently downloaded- The truth about heaven by Armor for Sleep, Earth to Bella Parts I and II by Incubus- i forget how much I like Incubus... And also Rock n Roll Queen by the Subways- makes me think of freshers week when I tried to get into live music. I wasn't sure I liked them then but they have grown on me since...

Anyhoo I think that is a long enough rant to catch you up on my moans, grins and whims. Adieu for now...

Random Events Recorded...

Yikes. What a week!!!!

1) What possessed me to take up a weight loss course based on hypnotherapy???

At work P. was in a previous life/pre-castle a hynoptherapist. He is now the one training a bunch of us tubby wardens who graze on the various snacks provided at work and pile on the pounds. In fact during one part of my Personal Development Review and being asked what was the best aspect of one of the items I did, all I could remember was the great food!! hmmmm.... but to be fair they had free mini Oreo biscuits!! They were immense :)

Anyhow so P is teaching us on the subconscious to not crave food. It has seemed to be working because I am not doing anything untoward i.e. eating snacks. However, whilst under the "trance" part lying on the floor surrounded by my colleagues, I gave an almighty snore, inhaled the blanket covering my mouth and choked cauisng a bit of commotion at my end of the room. Was the tranquility of the room interrupted? Pfft. Needless to say, most people were giving me a disapproving raised eyebrow afterwards.

Why can't I be graceful eh? Sometimes there just is not one bone of feminine grace and charm in me.

2) TEXAN MAN IN PUB

I went to meet up with my friend Em today and catch up. She has a lush new older boyfriend and her job at Ann Summers is going well- seriously this is like the ideal job for her- candid answers for every question! Anywho we were approached by a random Texan bloke working in Slough. I asked- couldn't he find a nice place in England to live? Apparently not. Anyhooo he was a little odd, kept saying fuck and trying to make me like 80s American music. It is not going to happen. It wasn't a particularly outstanding time for music to be honest and he was not making a very convincing argument. Anyhoo with some beautiful acting skills on my part and Em covering up her bemused face on picking up on my escape plan dove out of the pub ASAP. He gave me the creeps. Bless though, I think he was just lonely.

3) Walking Home in Pouring Rain

Yes, well. That just about sums it up really. Following this event in pub we walked around Tesco's for a bit as the shops were shutting in the high street. In order to work off the large glass of wine I had supped in the pub I decided it would be a marvellous idea to walk home. It was only drizzling when I set out. HA!
Half an hour later I turned up at my doorstep, my woollen blazer (oh yes!) was drenched through, the coat was shrinking a little bit but mostly smelling of a wet dog, my cowboy boots it seems are not water proof but were more comfortable than I had previously given them credit for, and my once-afro-tastic-curly hair was now plastered to my head. Hmmmm. Enough said on that I think. Oh no, I forgot. I put on non-waterproof mascara this morning. I came home looking like (and also smelling like) a corpse which had just been pulled out of the river.


In short, bit of an odd week the last few days!! Made for some interesting blogging- well more interesting than usual!!